I felt so bad today for my friend. He came over to hang out with me and I hardly had anything to say. I hate being this way, my mind drawing a blank everytime I try to talk with someone. Now I’m crying and feel like shit about it. I always want to get away from situations like this but I can’t, I’m always stuck. In these moments, I look back on my nightmares knowing it will eventually come true. I will always and forever being alone. No one ever liked me anyways.. I guess I should embrace it if thats the way my life is going to be.
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Did they speak of the secret incident?
… I don’t know what you’re talking about..
At least a friend came to see you! You’re worth a visit from a friend. I know how silence can make you feel like your not worth talking to. But in that silence between friends there are memories and happy thoughts sometimes. Things that don’t need to be said. In a good way. Try not to be so hard on yourself.
I always am hard on myself.. I don’t think that will ever change. Those memories can be good, but then I always start comparing myself to other people, those who are more outgoing than me. Then I start feeling as though I’m not a good or intersting person to be around. Like, everyones focus shift from me to someone else.. I start feeling lonely and start to wonder if there’s anyway I can change into an outgoing person.. but, I never can. No matter how hard I try, no matter how hard I fake it, i can never be who I want myself to be to others…
You shoudln’t be lonely here though, we’ll talk to you. 🙂
I think I’ve seen shy or mute people talk through sketchbooks. 😕 You could do that, or text through phone. 🙂
I don’t really understand. But I don’t have much to say to most people either.
Same with me. I find it hard to have a conversation with someone too. There is always that awkward silence between whoever I’m supposed to be having a conversation with. Can’t help it. I search up “conversation starters” or “what to talk about with people” and go from there. It helps a bit.