Would any of you feel pissed/ungrateful if you tried to end your life/almost died, and someone saved you or you didn’t end up dying or your attempt eas unsuccessful? Because I certainly would.
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share your suicide story
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Uh…… try try try try try again. (Insert infinite tries)
I’ve been meaning to try but I can’t get my body to physically do it… by all means I’m miserable enough to kill myself today or every day since I’ve been here. Just haven’t been physically able to probably because of the abuse
“If at first you don’t succeed, try again.” That’s pretty much how I think of it. Yesterday I was thinking of the time I bought a shotgun to shoot for the brain and I haven’t done that again in fear of being caught (I was raped in the mental hospital where I stayed for 28 days, etc, why I havent tried buying another.. well that and the sh*t they are constantly talking) but I thought some people aren’t like that, trying to rat on you for their own damn percs… so I thought I might try again. I dunno I just really want to end my life… like I said I can’t bring myself to take the pills… I’ve really wanted to for the last year and I really want to today…..
When I OD’d a few years ago and woke up in the hospital I was extremely pissed off.. At my parents for calling an ambulance upon finding me nearly lifeless, at the docs and nurses in the ER after being brought back (I don’t remember this but I was apparently cursing them out), at the hospital staff upon waking up conscious… And at myself for failing. Ever since then I’ve felt like I’m living in a time-line that shouldn’t exist, I died that day and I’m stuck back there while the world moves forward…
… Yeah, I probably would…
But it would be nice to know if they really did want to help and actually cared, I guess…
But they probably wouldn’t and it’s more of an instinctual reaction, a job to do, a role to play…
They could probably be mad or see a patient as another number and not a human being, give them medicine and then let them be on your way, then your “loved ones” might even try to take dangerous things far out of yoyr reach.
Yeah, I don’t know how things will turn out if I said I hated them for saving me and if I should feel that way, I might be more focused on the event itself, of like why I couldn’t die like I wanted to and have to be stuck like this…