I don’t know what to tell you. In my experience the pain does not stop. I wish someone would come up to me and crack the side of my head open with a lead pipe and kill me. I think I have only survived to this point bc I feel a sense of responsibility to avoid giving the people who care about me the pain of dealing with someone else’s suicide. It is unfair to me that I have to extend my life so that others will not feel the burden that they could have done more to stop me. Nothing has ever been worth the years of acute terror and isolation. Mockery hurts the most. Suicide is cowardly and I don’t want to die a coward is what I tell myself to keep it from my thoughts.
12 comments
Suicide is the most daring thing to do imo, to override survival instinct is no mean feat
The instinct to end it quickly is natural when you’re willing to die to end suffering.
7X7= 49.
You could’ve just named yourself 49, although 7 seven times is probably keweler.
It was the first name I came up with that had 7 characters. Why would someone try to be clever on this board.
Erotimatikophobia= Fear of question marks.
? ? ? ? ?
Thank you . Your response served as a catalyst to help me learn a new word today.
Seven x Avenged Sevenfold = ?
Hmm…
Haha.
Technically speaking I think it’s spelled A7X.
(But hey, whos pedantic round these parts)?
Hey, I don’t remember this shit being taught in school. Maybe I just didn’t go that day.
Everything you say, yes I can follow it, but the way you are saying seems like you are putting yourself through anguish thinking that way. Suicide is not a cowards exit…. now that is an empty clichè. You can stay alive or you can end your life, it is YOUR life afterall, therefore; the choice is YOURS. it’s not cowardly at all. Suicide is simply a decision or a choice you make, as you come to be an adult you get to make your own decisions. You don’t need to commit suicide because of anguish, but you can choose to for any reason. As previous famous suicides and last words have offered, you can choose suicide because the sky is blue. I choose suicide ten years ago, the only reason I am here speaking today, is because I haven’t gotten the chance yet..
I mean sure, I get the anguish, I feel the anguish myself, but that is not why I have chosen suicide. The truth is you DO NOT have to extend your life for others. If you wish to stay alive because you want to for them, that is also your choice. I have extended my life because I had a few things I needed to work out, like funeral/will/method.. I used to have a fear that others would judge me for choosing suicide when I first decided on suicide, 11 or 12 years back which therefore increased my reluctance to accomplish my dreams and go through with killing myself.. I used to fear what they would say after I killed myself, maybe calling me crazy or saying, “at least she didn’t’t stab us on her way out.” I used to have a fear of pain that I couldn’t kill myself in any way that would cause pain, now I do not fear pain at all. I still fear failing a suicide because to stay alive is my biggest fear of all, I would never choose life.
All these burdens and responsibilities people are forced to bear seems really unfair, huh…?
And this is kind of random, but talking about murder with a lead pipe reminds me of .flow or something…
Morris and EmptyPluto, why do you care about this person’s username so much instead of their post? o.o
Does that… bother you 7777777?