my mom told me to go drown about a year ago. the thought stuck in my mind and it really just cant be erased or ignored to the point that i actually conidered it. she doesnt love me. it’s obvious. i’m pointless. pointless to the point of my own mother wanting me dead. i decided to be numb and quiet. a bit recently, she said that if i would kill myself she wouldnt care. she shamed me in front of everyone and cursed at me. i know that i can’t bear this anymore. i tried to get help but she told me that everyone experiences anxiety and depression. she said that i wanted attention. i dont. if i wanted attention i would have made a big deal out of everything, but i didnt, and i kept it to me until i was given the chance to reach out. so you know what? i’m done. i give up. nobody’s willing to help me.