I try to be proactive about self improvement but I wasn’t the one that needed to improve. Some of us just get taken advantage of… taken for granted. We have good hearts but instead we are purposely misunderstood, until our voice is crushed under the weight of other people’s bullshit.
My head tells me the fight isn’t over, but what am I fighting for? I don’t want to create a family, I don’t want to pro-create, I don’t want to experience the pain of love again… a temporary endeavour that just takes away the focus from ourselves.
Sometimes I know I want to give up, and sometimes I wonder why anyone keeps trying, and why do people want kids?? That seems insane to me, especially as most people I’ve met with kids either end up on their own raising it, or some bullshit like going to court. Honestly that’s probably a majority of cases in the UK. There’s waay too many people in the world anyway!
…So it seems more like a ball and chain, like marriage, like a job… like any attachment to anyone or anything.
I don’t see much room for freedom and purpose. So, if that’s what looking forward feels like then perhaps that’s just another set of reasons I want to leave.
16 comments
The reason people want kids is probably just instinct. Our brain wants us to procreate and ensure humanity’s survival.
Yeah people don’t question their base drives and just add to the insanely overpopulated world. I don’t hate people who just follow their instincts like this, I just wish for a day soon that people see that our survival as human kind depends on there being less of us. If we somehow don’t end up killing each other though war/ discrimination/violence, we’ll poison nature to the extent it bites back. Why bring a child into that reality anyway… selfish reasons don’t suffice.
Selfish reasons do not suffice, and indeed what other reasons could there be?
I always rationalize… why bring more people into the world, when they can’t even take care of the ones they already have!! There are so many people suffering, but these people are ALREADY HERE and have been! Some of them are on the edge and need saving. These people may be in old age. If you can’t care and nurture them, then why should a gap open for a spot for a new being who would only be just as uncared for as that suffering old man.
Agreed COD:S.
I don’t want any biological kid either, I have no good genes to pass on and I’m not ready to ruin a life
Ditto, I think genes can be shaped by a good environment and community too but its all down to chance. if we’re all here because we wanna die we either have mental health issues or a pattern of shit circumstances. Or both. Best not to mess up another human bean.
Strongly agree.
Inevitably you’ll age little by little and at some point you may realize that you’re completely alone with no family nor friends to help you in your old age.
My son made the same decision to never have kids and now pushing 40 his biggest regret is having nobody to share his happiness or disappointments . It’s a lonely life when you reach the age of wanting someone to share your life with.
This of course doesn’t hold true for everyone, just everyone I’ve ever known.
That sounds like selfish reasons though(no offense intended), if I had a kid I wouldn’t expect them to care for me. I think it’s a common reason to ‘make a family’ but I think the real incentive should be less about the self, more about the sacrifice one would be willing to make. Sacrificing your health/time/money/sanity/privacy with the potential of not getting anything in return just to experience the momentary joys of literally making a person from scratch, complete selflessness in that respect because one day they will be free to walk out the door…
To make the world a worse place.
Haha I’m kidding doesn’t matter anyway
I guess for me to say more about why it doesnt matter. I don’t care about it cause I got no future, so I don’t worry about it. I’d be dead but I have no method available that would work easy. I sit on the forum to waste time, distract myself, lack of a single damn other thing to do than wait for the day I commit. And thats how its always been.
I see that you’re saying, I feel my future is uncertain too. So whether it’s not caring or simply being scared that the kid would lose a parent to this depression, it seems to sway the decision in a big way. To me life has felt like a bunch of animals in a tiny cage scrambling over each other, some that you wouldn’t want anywhere near you… who would want that for a child, or for the world to suffer anymore of us :/ this might just be my mental health talking/just an opinion.
There seems to be an inherent desire in most people to reproduce. I t seems to short circuit their reasoning. Given the price the parent(s) must pay and then the price the child must pay for a lifetime, the thing is inscrutable.
Bad news isn’t just reserved for the news services. I hear of tragedy frequently among my in-laws. I hear about and think about their misery everyday too. Misery and tragedy are everywhere. I will do the best I can with this life I have but I pity any newcomers.
Ya, pity. That is a good work for it. I think it was Socrates who said “death is better than life but the best thing of all is to never be born.”
Socrates was a smart dude then.