Geeze. Anyone else thinking of suicide…think of this: dang it, now I am more broke than I started, have a car wrecked from people rescuing me, an ambulance ride to pay for to boot, lost glasses, clothing cut off of me, no plan b, huge hospital bill coming towards me, as they wouldn’t let me leave the hospital for quite some time, up in the affective disorders unit….and now living in a house with all meds and vitamins locked up. Even using paper bags for garbage…haha…Not to mention, no razor to shave my legs…well…oh and I have to beg for a lighter if I want to smoke…so yeah, things to think about when your attempt goes wrong…just don’t try it. Because when it doesn’t work it is more humiliating than waking up alive. How I’m even gonna get loose from the debt is beyond me. Haha, funny thing tho, there is plenty not ‘locked up’ that I could easily go get to off myself again, but no energy to do that. Guess I just pray every night for death in my sleep somehow so i don’t have to face another dang day. Not to mention, its easy enough to go get whatever supplies one may need for a next time…..ahhhh….I guess this gesture is to prove I’m cared for? But yeah. Waking up alive is a strange humiliation. Well, lucky in a way they didn’t ticket me for an open bottle of vodka in the car and they didn’t EPC me, so…….there’s that. Hardly a pot of gold but I guess that’s something. Oh, and I guess it’s good to be alive but there was no “ah ha” moment in that. Still not entirely sure I give a crap about being alive.
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10 comments
It’s better to have a plan with a more reliable method.
I definitely don’t want to wake up alive when I make my final exit out of this mostly pathetic and obnoxious life.
Your life does suck dude
Yep. Learned that too late.
Can I ask why you decided to live now? (Or I guess, why you decided not to finish the job?) Maybe I’m assuming too much, but the fact that you’re worried about debt implies that you plan on living. Did something happen after your attempt that made you want to live (or I guess, less determined to die)? Or was the attempt itself an impulsive “bad idea”?
Not specific to you, but I’m always a little confused when people attempt & fail, and they don’t immediately finish the job. In the news there are a lot of bs stories about “survivors” who attempt & fail and then find the magical will to live. But also in the news of you dig deeper (since they rarely publish this stuff) there are stories about people who attempt & fail and then jump right out the hospital window if they have to. I suppose most failures fall somewhere between those two extremes.
Yeah, I’m confused too. I haven’t really decided to live now. There is no magical will in me right now. I admit, was impulsive. Stupid and impulsive. “Good to be alive” was sarcasm, it is what the few closer people I have left want me to say.
You got a hard life, sounds like you need a human. Where do you live?
I meant a hitman
Ha, how does one pay for that?
I was volunteering.
Sweet.