Think about what made you angry. Did someone insult you? Were you cheated somehow? Anger is a useful emotion but the key is to learn from whatever experience you had that made you angry.

For example, some relatives said/did a few things that made me very angry-then I came to a deeper realization of them and myself. Fortunately, they’re very distant but if they lived close I’d totally avoid them because I realized it is not worth reacting to them and it’s best to avoid such toxic people.

I’ve also learned over time don’t do something you’ll come to regret. If it’s a situation that isn’t an immediate threat to you, then it’s simply best to walk away, no matter how mad you are. Also people don’t respond well to other people’s anger. They get defensive, they won’t admit fault, which only makes things even worse.

So it’s best to discuss problems once everyone has calmed down. If they’re rational individuals you might be able to resolve the issue. If they’re irrational then you need to avoid them if you can.

What bothers me the most is that I’m the kind of person who’d go the extra mile for others and I’ve found very few people would do the same for me. It’s forced me to become more careful and suspicious of others because usually they’re just trying to get something out of you and will leave you high and dry if the tables were turned.

Jumping back to my first point, there’s an assumption that usually we’re in the right and other people are wrong. But what if you’re the one that is wrong and you won’t listen to other people? So before getting angry, assess the situation-perhaps you misunderstood something. That’s what I always do, I make sure I didn’t fk up somehow.

If I did screw up, then I apologize and correct my error-if it’s the other person’s fault then I’ve learned to slowly, carefully and respectfully help them understand where they went wrong. Blowing up at them doesn’t usually work unless they’re confident and big enough to admit that they made a mistake. I’ll leave it there.