I am depressed because I am lazy. I am lazy because I am depressed. I am insecure because I m lonely. I am alone because I am too insecure to find someone. I really wanna die but I dont wanna kill myself. I am incapable of doing anything productive or meaningful. Useless people like me should be fking taken out by natural selection but humans just cheated the evolutionary system that has been around for millions of years…. Survival of the fittest isnt evil. For weak disgusting creatures that cant succeed in life death is a mercy. Its kinda fked up to me that nature isnt able to kill the weak anymore so they have to do it themselves. I dont wanna stick around only coz this stupid society feels sorry for pathetic weak people. Everyone is feeling fking sorry for me. I am trying to hide my insecurities but is so damn obvious to everyone. I have made up this loud, rude, annoying attention seeking “bad boy” personality but everyone can see Im faking it and its very cringy.
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Something that has helped me with depressive laziness is making a list of things to get done during the day. A lot of times, depression gets in the way of clear thinking, so the things you have to get done can seem overwhelming. Putting it down on a list helps to break things up so that you can take things one step at a time. Things like brushing teeth, taking a shower, cleaning, laundry, exercise, etc.
Breaking the laziness with daily goals might help to break the cycle you’re in, where you say laziness causes depression and vice versa. Its definitely been helping me, at least.