I do know that I want to have a child someday. That is my sole purpose for me to keep on living. But wouldn’t it be wrong for a child to be my only purpose to keep going?
I don’t know why it would specifically be wrong, but I don’t want to screw things up with my future child and this has been on my mind lately.
Let me know what y’all think.
28 comments
My honest opinion? Please please please don’t bring a child into this horrible world.
“But wouldn’t it be wrong for a child to be my only purpose to keep going?”
Right & wrong is subjective, but I think we can all agree that it’s a selfish reason to have a child just so you’ll have a reason to live.
I wanted to add, ADOPTING a child would be a wonderful thing to do, because you would be saving an abandoned kid in addition to saving yourself.
I see where you are coming from, but my partner and I both want to have a child someday. The purpose of my post was to point out that if I don’t have a purpose now, how is it fair on anybody to make a child my purpose? Thank you for replying AXYZ.
Do you want to have a child or raise a child?
Raise for sure. I am and have been in love with my partner for a long time. Am waiting for the opportunity to marry her, and then to start my own family.
Then why are you asking us? I think you’re making a responsible choice. It takes two people to create a baby. And hopefully two to raise a baby. You are a good man. And you can be a great father. Bless you!
I second adoption, please consider that instead
Thank you for your input, I appreciate it.
imho, I think that people should be well mentally, physically, and emotionally before having a child. What happens is that the stresses of having a child drastically magnifies your emotions, and if you are prone to depression, it will get worse, not better, by having a child. Also, what issues you have, will rub off and affect the child. You wouldn’t want to do that, do you?
Eternal, I like your comment a lot. I agree and you have provided me with some good points.
Children pick up all kinds of information about life from us parents that we never told them. If either parent has mental issues these will be affecting the child no matter how nicely we present ourselves to our child. My daughter was proposing suicide for herself by age six (!) without me ever saying a word about it!! All the while I was doing everything in my power to give her a good life but she picked up on my I-hate-life etc outlook without ever a word about from me.
I think you should do it because l see you want to. I think you’ll be a good parent.
Thank you for your kind words of reassurance. I sure hope I would be.
It is super cruel to bring a life into this world. Life is sacred and the human impulse to reproduce is so strong that any kind of logic flies out of the window. You have no idea what you are doing. You are playing a fools mate in the end by bringing a life form into this world without allowing him/her an easy exit. There is no trial for this life. If you are in, you gotta stay. And not everyone would want to commit suicide. Are you aware that there is a 80 percent chance your child will suffer poverty? Looking at the demographics around the world, for a human to achieve bliss and keep it requires a grantuidious skill. I think it is super cruel to create a child knowing what this world and life is. You are basically creating a huge responsibility for yourself. What if that child becomes a mass murderer or even worse, a street bum? There is little guarantee for humans to have a fulfilling life in the world to come. You need to start controlling yourself. Think about this, the suicide project consists of children being created who doesn’t fit into this world. We are all children and life forms forced into a world we wish we weren’t in. I regret every day of my life. Everyone I knew betrayed me, thinks low of me. I feel I am a burden to everyone around me. I hope you can face the consequences of your decision.
Thank you for taking the time to reply to my post and apologies for taking so long to reply.
I think you are indirectly answering my question by stating that having a child is without purpose. Assuming that my desire for this is just a whimsical fantasy, I do see your point. Would you say the same if, given the right situation, a child with a “fulfilling life” would be a child worth having? Just a thought.
Regardless, thank you for the input. I do appreciate it.
Unlike some people here I think its OK morally to have a child. I cant think of any other purpose of life than reproduction anyway (sadly I totally suck at it…). I think you need to be careful with the attitude of your child being the ONLY purpose that you have. It may sound weird but I think it is really not good if you care about your child like way too much and give it too much attention. That child could end up either narcissistic or incapable to do anything on its own if you were too overprotective or like me with low self esteem if nothing that the child did was good enough for you coz his life is pretty much the only thing you have and you wanted him to be exactly according to your expectations. I can see it with my father and it definitely wasnt good for me. He relies on me too much, Im the only one that he has and it really was damaging to me growing up. He always had too high expectations, he always tried to control me to do what he wanted.
I am the last person you would ask for parenting advise so dont take it too seriously man. I would be genuinely terrified to have a kid. I find it kinda creepy especially when kids tend to resemble their parents so much. Like walking around the house with another little version of me. That would be kinda scary.
You haven’t read my post above? I gave good reasons why it is not ethical or moral to bring a child into this world. Looking at the demographics alone, should convince you the most likely possibility a child might end up in – unemployement, jail, etc. You bring a child into a world that is broken, isn’t that the greatest evil? So if you do not agree, you are also just “impulse” driven and therefore not a rational decision maker.
We are impulse driven creatures. We like to think that we are rational but we really arent. And I think you are just taking it from your own perspective too much. I wouldnt want to have a kid either but I can see many people that are happy in life so why not. It doesnt mean that if there is 80% people in poverty that your child has 80% chance to be poor. Thats not how it works. If you live in europe/america like most of us here you are probably one of the richest people in the world and so will be your child.
You can pretend that you are all rational and ignore all your impulses but it will only make you miserable. Thats my experience at least.
I like what you say about the effects of caring too much. That is definitely one of my main worries. Thank you for replying.
Adopt. There are already enough kids in this world imo. Anyway you really need to think it through before having a kid. There is already enough suffering in this world.
That is the second adage to my statement above. Adopt the children and treat them well can only be positive. You are making whatever there is already better of that what was before. People adopt animals, why don’t they adopt children too?
People are the most selfish, selfless life-forms on this planet, which is why they rather have their own “concoction” of a child unaware that their own children can sometimes be more foreign than a adopting a child of a similar personality as yourself, and IQ level, if you want.
Creating more children is not a convincing modus operandi to go by as it is clear how cruel life can be already. Why gamble with the possibility that might be too hard for you to handle?
I just don’t understand it; part of human cruelty is reproduction. It is like throwing a person in a “hotel” with no wi-fi, a broken vent, and a few do gooders. And then lock them up for a life. If you agree this is cruel, it is a greater evil to commit bringing that child in a world that doesn’t even represent this hotel by any stretch of the imagination.
After a child is born it has many of the following to look forward to sooner or later:
Allergies
Asthma
ADHD
Bronchitis
Bacterial Vaginosis (for the females)
Bullies
Cancer
Childhood Arthritis
Childhood injuries
Depression
Death
Diaper Rash
Diarrhea
Eczema
Flu
Genetic defects
Herpes
Lice
Premature Birth
Rejection
This is just the short list.
I am well aware of the risks a child faces when being brought into existence. I find it odd how your list ranges from Allergies all the way to Cancer, two far extremes of danger. I would like to add to your comment by asking; what would life be without inconveniences/danger? Pleasure does not exist without pain, just as darkness does not exist without light. Regardless, thank you for your comment.
I want to thank you for posing your question on this venue. You’ve received a big response already so this must be something on a lot of peoples mind. I am glad you brought it up.
The responses included please don’t, go for it, think about it, be certain your mental, physical, emotional health are up for it.
Of course, to answer your question “what would life be without inconveniences/danger”? Inconveniences are a great spur to mitigate them or resolve them altogether, often with considerable benefits.
Now the danger, hmm, that is a tough one. Self chosen danger for one’s self can be very rewarding provided you keep the consequences at bay. I am thinking of particular person who widowed and orphaned because he insisted on flying a non-airworthy aircraft and paid the ultimate price both for himself and his family.
Now here is another one. There is no right answer to this one. There has been a danger, for as long as suitable records have been kept, that a child has a 10 to 12 percent chance of being born underweight. I was was one of those.
Now 150 years ago the survival prospects of those born underweight were about 1 in 10. Fast forward to 60 years ago (my birth year) and the survival rate went to better than 96% in the US but the means of getting to that rate were downright cruel with lifetime consequences I have had to endure. Ten to twelve percent for just this one risk associated with a new life is not a slim one. Medical practices are better now but still no picnic for the child.
Again I want to compliment you for bringing up this question here.
Yes, pathetic male, I haven’t said wherever you are you have the same statistical significance to be in poverty; but this was an overall statistic including America. Mean and median isn’t the same, yes. And even the median differences accounts for poverty alone in a 3rd world country, keeping up the standard of living in America is way harder. People are more miserable too, and suffer depression at a greater rate. I digress from your opinion partly; the facts can make you miserable but why should it? Facts give us a descriptive of what is going on; what you make of it is your own.
I choose to do things based on deductive reasoning rather than gobbledygook based on emotive heresy. We SHOULD have a reason for everything we do. If we cannot find a reason, we have no way of testing wether an action is viable or not. Now, the degree varies, but dismissing sound reasoning makes you a monkey. I gave you good reasons why having children is not right, both from a Kantian perspective, and from a Platonic perspective. I showed you why you do NOT possess the right to make another human being. You can now conclude that because you have an impulse you have the “right” but you do not. If you believe life is sacred, you will also see the harm be done onto a life form. By bringing a life into this world KNOWING the suffering and pain, is inexcusable. And if this sounds way out, so be it? Maybe our society becomes and inductive lot. Hence, its easier to plug your ears and scream “la la la” when you do not agree and act on impulse. That is what children do, as well as feeble minded animals. We can think, so use your mind.
That same argument could be used to summon evil. “acting on impulse” can be an evil too. So doing evil to excuse it for impulse would be absolute evil, won’t you agree? If reasoning shows you the fallacies of your impulse, why not dismiss the former for the latter and go with reason instead and make the best of the reasonable conclusions?
You are probably right. My point was just that I think I am a really rational person and I kind of hate it. As pathetic as it sounds I would rather be some kind of dumb person or even better some animal that acts only on its impulses and so it doesnt have to deal with the question of morality and other existencial shit. All my life I mostly ignored my emotions as only something distracting and it only led me to this dark nihilistic place and also I dont really know how to express myself. But all of that is just my subjective experience, of course.
Hi, dude. Thanks for coming back. Pathetic male, I think the best thing this life could have bought us was the suicideproject.org. At least here we can shed our tears and complain together. Life is truly a dark nihilistic misadventure to nowhere. In my previous posts I always noted the cruelty of existence itself. Life really isn’t going to get any better than this because the casual state is one of deterioration as per the 2nd law of thermodynamics. I always keep it in mind. Live and enjoy the prosperity and health while you can; it can take 1 destructive action to destroy it all, and you’ll never get it back again. That is the most fucked up thing – life is fucked up, and I won’t ever put a child into this cruel world.