This article came up while I was at work today:
https://www.thisisinsider.com/perfectionism-definition-depression-anxiety-mental-health-2018-11?utm_source=quora&utm_medium=referral
To say I reacted poorly is an understatement. I’m still mad about it. It would appear that striving for perfection is generational, and I’m not the only one who is actively fighting mental illness because of it. What does anyone expect? My parents and their fucking generation destroyed all that was good and sustaining in our economy. They traded in pensions for 401ks, healthcare for higher salaries and let the wealthy enjoy limitless growth while the rest of us get peanuts.
What are we supposed to do? There are many who just want to fucking say “That’s the way it is”. Well it wasn’t always that way which mean it can be changed. Which requires hard fucking work, a whole lot of people like me getting fed up enough to turn the world upside down. That’s what I’m going to do too, illness or no. They’re going to have to kill me, because as long as I can write I can fight and as long as I can think I can win.
I’ll let you in on a little secret: it isn’t the smartest, or the richest, or the ones who go to the right schools that win in a head to head fight. It’s the jerk too stubborn to quit.
That’s fucking me. I’m tired and torn up, but I won’t be quitting. It can try to ruin me, better forces than it have tried.
I’m doing a little better. In a week this nightmare semester will be over, and I’ll make the next one better.
3 comments
Feels good to let it out don’t it 🙂
History is one heap of dung after the other, leaving a bigger mess for the next generation. Once every 40-50 years a generation will say “enough is enough” and clean up some crap. Whether or not this amounts to progress in the long haul is anyone’s guess. For what it’s worth I’m glad there are a few fighters like you out there. Of all places, on a suicide site where most of us are too consumed by our own misery to justify fighting back against the crap. Do you have a plan? Although, simply not giving up is the best plan I’ve ever heard.
I used to be a perfectionist, but then I switched coverage to absurdism, sorry.