self-destructive til i die

i will get you close
close enough for you to ignore my noose
make you believe im soft and sweet
show you all the good parts of me
just to push you away
see, i like to pretend and play
fool you into thinking my mind is stable
give you small papercuts until you realize im capable
of making your heart gush
naively overlook my scars
baby, i do it to myself too
it hurts me to hurt you
im sadistic in those ways
been self-destructive my whole life, it’s not a phase