This seems somewhat relatable to me the only The thing I want is happiness or death peace of mind or a peaceful death I don’t know what medication will prevent me from walking around talking to myself I don’t hear voices unless high off weed due to the THC and whatever other molecular chemical compounds in it but I only tried once or twice but someone should just peacefully kill me but even I am not allowed to do that even in the fucking USA yeah yeah “don’t kill yourself or kill your self and stop complaining about it get on with it I tried once on Benadryl the panic set in and I instantly regret it and now I still regret being alive I need a peaceful and painless death I know there is a way but I can’t do it legally on my own here with the whole family and friends and the ethics and morals and legals and money I have more or less but people will prevent me from doing it life wasn’t meant for everyone I don’t have any interest in killing anyone other than myself as a atheist even I wish there was a good god but even I can’t believe in that without evidence not just based on faith where is this heaven we all seem to like not here on Earth?!
I know I won’t be able to do a suicide attempt again and even after this rant I know I would be scared even if someone would help me with this find me somewhere on my own and try to know how to talk to me and even willing if so to do this if this was possible but we can’t we need “you” alive so you can live through this pain, pleasure, and suffering of being human until you achieve “happiness”
The duloxentine cymbalta effect after what a week or so something like that I don’t feel like my old self but I feel boring, calm, dull, normal, relaxed.
I may like this I may not,
How shall this play out,
For I shall fear not,
Not that anyone cares,
For if you do,
It seems to be too late,
I let my old self go,
For my new self,
Is this the self?
Is this how I really want to be?
What normal?
And not myself like I used to be?
This was my path,
I chose this more or less,
By will of arrogance or ignorance or of humanity within myself and within others becareful what you wish for,
For it may come true or it may not,
However you choose this you and this is me.
3 comments
This seems somewhat relatable to me the only The thing I want is happiness or death peace of mind or a peaceful death I don’t know what medication will prevent me from walking around talking to myself I don’t hear voices unless high off weed due to the THC and whatever other molecular chemical compounds in it but I only tried once or twice but someone should just peacefully kill me but even I am not allowed to do that even in the fucking USA yeah yeah “don’t kill yourself or kill your self and stop complaining about it get on with it I tried once on Benadryl the panic set in and I instantly regret it and now I still regret being alive I need a peaceful and painless death I know there is a way but I can’t do it legally on my own here with the whole family and friends and the ethics and morals and legals and money I have more or less but people will prevent me from doing it life wasn’t meant for everyone I don’t have any interest in killing anyone other than myself as a atheist even I wish there was a good god but even I can’t believe in that without evidence not just based on faith where is this heaven we all seem to like not here on Earth?!
I know I won’t be able to do a suicide attempt again and even after this rant I know I would be scared even if someone would help me with this find me somewhere on my own and try to know how to talk to me and even willing if so to do this if this was possible but we can’t we need “you” alive so you can live through this pain, pleasure, and suffering of being human until you achieve “happiness”
The duloxentine cymbalta effect after what a week or so something like that I don’t feel like my old self but I feel boring, calm, dull, normal, relaxed.
I may like this I may not,
How shall this play out,
For I shall fear not,
Not that anyone cares,
For if you do,
It seems to be too late,
I let my old self go,
For my new self,
Is this the self?
Is this how I really want to be?
What normal?
And not myself like I used to be?
This was my path,
I chose this more or less,
By will of arrogance or ignorance or of humanity within myself and within others becareful what you wish for,
For it may come true or it may not,
However you choose this you and this is me.
I wish I achieved my big goal. What was yours? I have a big goal but it’s hard to achieve I have to be sneaky but I have people following me..