i realized that every time i get to choose something for my future i never truly care, it’s like somehow i truly believe that i’m not gonna live long to see the future. It sounds so stupid when i try to tell that thought to myself, it keeps haunting me ” just die now now now now ” and that just proves that life is pointless.
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Life is pointless, but then so is death.
Familiar with the existentialist/nihilist/absurdist debate?
actually im not familiar can u explain it to me? u see i dont think death is pointless because we don’t actually know what goes behind death, we know life and what it offers, and i find it pointless.
Scientifically we know exactly what happens after death. No memories, no emotions, no desires, no feelings, no learning, no senses, no understanding. Death is the end of all those things. Its just like when you unplug your computer. Death is oblivion. People want to believe in life after death, heaven for the good hell for the bad, or reincarnation, or spirits and souls lingering on, but all thats just wishful thinking. Theres no evidence to believe any of it. I’ll get to nihilism next…
Study philosophy long enough and you hit nihilism. You can disprove the existence of god, of all gods. You then have to accept if there is no god life has no objective purpose or meaning. Nietzsche said it best (paraphrasing) there will come a time, where your breathing will become labored, you will fight to make your heart keep beating, but at some point a fraction of a moment before death you will know absolutely that nothing you’ve ever done has any meaning, weither you were good or bad, raised a failily or did nothing, nothing that you ever did or were ever going to do has the slightest meaning at all as you realize your heart will not beat again, that you’ve slipped into the void between being and total oblivion.
So what do you do? A nihilist dosen’t care, in a world without meaning there are no values, no morals, you can do anything or nothing. dosen’t matter if you die right now or not, its all the same.
In reaction to that nihilism some people become existentialists. They say… God does not exist, and there is no objective meaning to life… but I can give life subjective meaning! I can create my own morals and values. Create my own goals and give life meaning that way! A nihilist would say this is just more delusion, self deception, philosophical cowardice.
Then comes absurdism… yes there is no god and thus no ulimate meaning or purpose to life, yet once this truth is discovered very few choose death or suicide. If you truly believed committing suicide had no more meaning than drinking a cup of coffee you’d soon be dead, so why are there so many living nihilists? The answer is because regardless of if life is meaningless or not, as a human your still driven to find meaning and purpose. You live on in hopes of finding purpose and meaning where you know none exists. It’s an absurd existence. You live on in defiance of a nihilistic existance, a rebellious middle finger thrust at the cold meaningless universe.
I think these are the most interesting arguments in philosophy. The ultimate outcome of philosophical study. But thats just my take on it and I dont have a degree or anything in it.
I used to be like that and I hoped and prayed that I could commit, but I ended up not being able to and now I go through the motions. I still pray for a way out though.