i really dont want to live. i dont want to be alive. to care for people or talk. i can barely even talk to myself. i dont want to be here. i’ve tried i stayed away and said i’ll work things out i’ll think more i’ll be more positive or i’ll just throw away all my thoughts and pretend life doesn’t bother me, but it didnt work. i’m here wanting to slit my throat. it’s harder each time. i want to end this.
Processing your request, Please wait....i’ve always thought of this because these young people deserve the time to get better but is it alright if they did actually kill themselves? just to think of it if their depression comes from internal reasons that kind of depression never goes away does it? or is it just that they don’t know much of life so that they cannot really just die? it may seem like a dumb question but at which time is it acceptable to give up. i’ve wanted to die since 11 now im almost 19 nth changed and yeah that maybe is nothing but when can i just say fuck it and leave?
Processing your request, Please wait....i really hoped for things to go well for my life to work but everyday feels duller than the day before. i seriously don’t know why i’m sticking around. meeting people, working life, socializing it’s all so tiring so hurting i wish i can just leave end this nonsense of pretend. it’s like it’s all foggy but just around my head everyone can see and smell and i’m just blindly moving. a damn robot. gotta look good gotta small talk i’m seriously done. the fact that nothing won’t change makes i even worse. i don’t think anyone really cares if i went they’ll just say i went to hell for killing myself
Processing your request, Please wait....i wish i can just die. like just die and go off. everything is too much to handle not because things are that hard it’s because i’m a coward. i’m just lazy. i eat, i panic then i eat. i want to fucking starve to fucking death but no i’m too lazy for that. i want to cut but i’m too lazy to clean after so i just end up sleeping. just sleeping and sleeping until my life goes away and my parents scream at me for not doing anything useful or helpful. i’m even lazy that i don’t finish my purge. how dumb is that?. started so many shows and movies as distractions but i cant no more. and a big holiday is coming up which means i have to dress up and go visit people and talk and it’s just too damn tiring. too fucking tiring. and i’d have to pretend it’s all fun and smile and make small talks. and they’ll ask about collage and i’ll have to say how nice and all. i fucking know how privileged i am and thats why i should die cuz no one like me deserves that much. i’m just a lazy ass ***** yeah. you dont have to tell me no and that all suffering is valid because in all honesty all suffering isn’t valid. i wish i can fucking take out my brain and smash it into endless pieces. living is for the strong and well i am the weakest of all.
Processing your request, Please wait....i keep thinking that no matter how long i’ll live ill still be giving my life away and work only to support shitty companies that will eventually ruin earth. Even lets say i became something as noble as an author, i’d still be carried away with making books ruining tree for example. And even how people in fashion are trying to sell us things back, things that were on trend then died from trend but now since they ran out of ideas they sell the same things again, and we still buy it’s dumb. more of life not meaning anything. We cannot fix this messed up world. and that makes me more sure that we shouldnt live really.
Processing your request, Please wait....I really don’t want to exist mostly. I am not in a great pain nor sick nor abused.. what is the reason of this undying sadness that can never let me go. it’s not just about wanting to get away, it’s more like wanting to fade away because living is too much. How much i wish i can donate life to those who really wanna live those who change things and so on. i wish i was never born
what should i do? knowing that my life will forever be this meaningless?
Processing your request, Please wait....Does the sadness ever end?
I’m so empty so weak and tired
Things probably never get better do they?
Processing your request, Please wait....i feel so disgusted by my reflection, and my legs can’t carry me anyomore. i wake up to emptiness and i hate it. people say no you’re pretty how can you hate yourself? how can i not when all i see is an ugly face without a soul. i can fucking see every single flaw. and i feel the time passing while i stand in the middle. how can’t they see how pointless it is?
Processing your request, Please wait....i keep trying to wreck myself instead of killing it,i cut even tho i don’t consider myself a cutter, i smoke but im not a smoker either, and i fucking hate food, and now for the first time in my life i’m starting to pass out randomly. the thing is tha now im not doing anything particularly to trigger this. but what’s even more sick is that i feel proud, it’s like my plans are working and im slowly dying. most of the passing outs happened when i’m alone thankfully and i was in a place to rest and not fall. it was only once when i was out and for that people called my family and now they are focusing more on what i do,, i hate that i want to fucking die in peace.
is it sick to be happy that you are sick? im pretty sure something is very wrong with my body cuz my heart hurts but im happy? it’s so weird and complicated
Processing your request, Please wait....ive had enough, life hates me every fucking thing never worked for me. i wanted to get into a good uni, all my friends got in but me, i wanted a good major but now my major is stupid. i fight with my family about money and life is so fucking expensive i’d rather fucking die. i wanted to get a driving license but it got denied. i have to really beg for a ride even to uni and it fucking sucks . i dont think i really love anyone and the one person i love is too complicated and would leave any second. im living just because i cannot die. fuck food i feel so guilty when i eat and then i end up binging like a pig or never eating at all. i look at my face and i see something i hate. i just want to fucking die. and my phone fucking died and isn’t opening up and my fam are so mad at me for it too. why cant i just shut down like that and pray goodbye. i cut even tho i said im gonna stop and im so dizzy but i cant sleep because i dont want blood to get everywhere. this fucking life sucks because it’s so tasteless and i deserve nothing.
Processing your request, Please wait....hey, i wanted to ask this for a while and i searched lots and i never found a proper answer, so basically the girl i love has anorexia , its quite serious and no matter how much she sometimes reaches with recovery whenever she sees her weight up she’d freak out and goes back to giving up and wanting to die. i realllly want to help her, she gets treatment and all but they are pushing her so much and i know its too much and i want to tell her that she needs to recover without me pushing her more. how can i ? i love her so much to accept what she’s doing i cant just sit and look. i understand how she feels but its not right,, im really scared for her
Processing your request, Please wait....I know its dumb but no one ever talks about this. as for me i am a religious person somehow and i dont need to mention my religion, but the thing is allll religions viewed suicide as a sin , as someone disobeying and taking away life, and i do understand that so very much but ,, what if one wants to die so so so much . its very sad to see one fighting themselves like this, for me i hate myself more because i want to die then wish to die more, isnt that stupid and pathetic. what is this way of living? i tried to kill myself once but to be honest ill never be brave enough and ill live in this misery of mind and it hurts it hurts so much how everyday is a struggle. i want to be dead.
Processing your request, Please wait....it feels gloomy and everyone is sad. you cannot mention being sad anymore cuz everyone wants to die and it sucks way too much. why are we all so sad? and the thing is when someone i care about tells me they want to die i understand them way too much that i cant convince them not to. same with ana my lover and one of my great friends have it and they dont want to recover and i absolutely get them. but they cant stay like this. wheres the magic recipe to fix this broken world.
Processing your request, Please wait....so i tried because i was so tired and i couldnt care less about anything else, i dont give a fuck weather anyone would be sad or mad, i texted goodbye two friends and wrote the rest letters, one tried to stop me but i told them this is what has to be done. so after cutting many stupid cuts on my stupid leg i looked at my arm and got too weak to cut it open so i opened the pill bottle and ate it all. i was already dizzy from blood loss and fainted on the bathroom floor. a tiny while later i woke up and puked it all and cried so much why does this happen to me. i then threw my body on my bed and fainted again immediately and sadly i woke up again and cried more. why can’t it work why can’t i just die.
Processing your request, Please wait....i wish i could die like right now and then id just be alright
im such an ungrateful fuck
Processing your request, Please wait....I quit my dreaming the moment that I found you
I started dancing just to be around you
Here’s to thinking that it all meant so much more
I kept my mouth shut and opened up the door
I wanted nothing but for this to be the end
For this to never be a tied and empty hand
If all the trouble in my heart would only mend
I lost my dream, I lost my reason all again
It’s not just me for you
I have to look out too
I have to save my life
I need some peace of mind
I am the only one now
I am the only one now
I am the only one now
You may not be around
You may not be around
You may not be around
I am the only one now
I am the only one now
I am the only one now
I am the only one now
Processing your request, Please wait....i hate how empty this all feels. Every time i wait for something to happen thinking it would make me feel better it just doesn’t. i lost feelings. i want to stab myself and die. Such a big shit thing.
Processing your request, Please wait....how can u convince someone not to die when u yourself cant convince yourself, every time i see a person suffering i just say why can’t we just give up. i want to tell people please don’t die but how how can i?
Processing your request, Please wait....i realized that every time i get to choose something for my future i never truly care, it’s like somehow i truly believe that i’m not gonna live long to see the future. It sounds so stupid when i try to tell that thought to myself, it keeps haunting me ” just die now now now now ” and that just proves that life is pointless.
Processing your request, Please wait....loneliness is eating me up
i don’t want to live no more
Processing your request, Please wait....