Life feels off

My life isnt right anymore. Im not normal. I forgot my head somewhere. Lost track of time, days, people. Showing a perfect image to everyone around me, but its only a mask. A mask i am trapped in, screaming for help in my mind. But i cant let it out, i refuse. Everything makes me cry, i never cry. I met the devil, my arm is covered in slashes. Im passing through all the phases, yes like i always have. But this is different, life officially feels off. Its a haze, i dont recognize it, everything is sinister, i am paranoid of everything. I feel sick. My mind accepted death but my body refuses it. I get teased to remind me i am trapped, but other than that i am calm and happy. Atleast thats what my mask portrays. Oh beautiful twisted life. Im afraid of myself. Im afraid of dying every single day. When i wake up to when i go to sleep. It is inevitable. I will die by my own hands, my fate has already been sealed.