Is it possible to love someone so much you have to leave them for their own sake?
Is it completely self absorbed to believe that to show everyone how much you love them you must leave them?
I generally feel like the best gift I can give those I love is for me to leave and make everything simpler for them. I don’t know I feel like I bring so much pain to everyone the only way to stop is to run away and start new somewhere which would never happen or to be just gone which I could make happen.
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No….I did that before. I was with a guy and I kept cheating on him but he knew and understood I was….Well wasn’t ok…and as long as I didn’t go too far he didn’t really care. But deep inside I felt awful so I left him. He’s still my friend and we still talk and he doesn’t blame me for what I did. I still occasionally say sorry because I still feel bad about it but he tells me it’s ok.
Sorry dealing with a headache. Let me finish my thought now lol. As far as disappearing I would only recommend that if they are the ones causing you pain. If they abuse you in anyway. Then it is best to remove yourself from the situation. However if they love you back they just want to help you and you should let them. Even if that means just someone to rant to. I talk to my husband all the time and I know he’s listening but not because all I’m doing is ranting. Not really having a coherent thought. And you need that support in your life.
You do you, do what you think will work and you’ll find out what kind of results it produces.
It still occurs to me as ego-centric to believe that you are absolutely capable of determining what value someone else has towards you. You’re projecting your poor self image upon them.
Value is the most personal thing in this world. To me a particular person is amazing, to someone else that person might be frustrating, or not interesting. That person doesn’t say how I feel, do they? I can love people without them ever telling me how to feel.
A relationship is also a contract, and breaking it requires good reasons. If you want to leave people because you’d rather be alone, say so. Don’t project it to be their fault, for their good. They are perfectly capable of determining what is for their good. They could get away from you just as easily as you from them.
Sorry about being so emotional about all this, but I deal with someone that does this in my life and have spent much time trying to correct the behavior.
As I said at the start: you do you, no one can choose your life choices for you. All we can do is advise and be thankful for the privilege of being involved.
Thanks for reading and reaching out.
Odds are you ending it will only increase their pain. Unless you’re somehow making it so bad for them that it’s threatening their life, then their response will likely be the usual mix of devastation, anger, and wondering what they should have done to save you.
Thats what I felt in my last relationship. I was a mess with depression and a lot of problems so I tried to break up like 4 times with him because I felt he didnt deserve to put up with the mess I was, but he always would say Im the love of his life and he wouldnt let me go. One month ago he broke up with me and started dating the girl he told me not to worry about literally the next day.
Always do whatever you think is best for you in that moment.
Life is weird and people can dissapoint you even if you dont expect it at all.