just found out that the problem I spent the last five hours trying to figure out and holding myself together over… wrong, entirely wrong. I’m trying not to completely lose it. I’ve been awake since 8:30 AM THURSDAY, that’s 28 hours, and working since 9:30 AM…. I hate this, I hate everything, I really really want to hurt someone, apart from myself,, but there’s no one that has it coming like I do. See? Logically, I should just go walk into traffic, because I’m the problem. I’m the one that wasted immense resources screwing up….. I’m so tired, but I don’t get to sleep, not yet, because I still have MORE WORK.
I hope when I get checked into the hospital the school will send me bills, because this is how nervous collapse happens. I would have been happy if I was even nearly right, but I wasn’t…. not even in range… I can’t even bring myself to ask for another chance….. And once again I’ve got clouds and rain, I can’t even go for a fricken walk and get out of this place……of course I can’t feel the cold… walking into traffic sounds incredibly good.
4 comments
It’s not about the result, man. Everybody screws up. Everybody.
It’s about you putting in a lot of work, doing your best. That will last you much longer and in the long run, improve your odds of success.
Pat yourself on the back.
Yeah. People just work for the sake of doing something they’d rather not be doing. When you get a result, that means you no longer have to work and that defeats the purpose of work.
Don’t you know its good that you failed? All those successful people out there are so miserable because what they worked at worked out for them. You got no results! Count your lucky stars.
Hopefully you aren’t going into the hospital unless you choose to, is this you choosing to? I pray for you that they don’t take you against your will and wishes. But I’d strongly advise that you don’t choose to go, you’ll be nothing other than f*cked for life should you step foot in there. Pull yourself together. All you have to do is gain composure and hey don’t accidentally say anything to someone else if you are stepping out the door and think they’d want to know that you won’t be alive the next day…. You don’t say anything or do anything weird like shriek and pull out your hair in public and you won’t get manhandled by those fatty police…. you pull yourself together and you can calmly and competently end your life should that be what you desperately desire or you can learn to live with your hard feelings and inability to feel any positive emotions.
I like how you say I want to hurt someone apart from myself but no one has it coming like I do. I don’t know anyone so I agree I couldn’t hurt anyone but myself because the only person I’ve had my entire life has been myself. And I’ve been trying to self-murder that person since I was 12 years old.
Man I wasted 4071 hours and keep adding more. 27? Pfff