Not entirely suicide related
Fumbling with my appearance more as of recently. Got my eyebrows threaded. It was my ex’s idea. I think it looks nice… I’m kind of enjoying this… I probably want to try even more things xD but I want to stay somewhat natural…
I still don’t really have any plans in place for end of life. There’s probably 6 or 7 months to go. I can’t predict the future… I’m beyond sick of working, I probably should keep looking for another job but I guess its not happening… Call me lazy, I do not enjoy working. 😛
I guess I’ll just finish off this coffee (barista) course and take it from there. I have a bit of savings but not much. I liked learning about coffee. There’s really alot more to this coffee stuff than what meets the eye. I do hope I get better at it, I tried… I really tried. :\ I guess I should stop worrying about it… my ex tells me not to worry but… I do. Feeling like a failure hits pretty hard. OK, I’m not a failure… everyone learns at different rates. Right… fine. Yes… that’s right. *sigh…
Eh. I guess that’s all I had to write…
9 comments
I didn’t like working either now i’m retired and life is much better, i suffered and waited and it was worth it so far.
I sometimes wonder if there are people who actually do enjoy working, but I haven’t met one yet.
I recently heard that somewhere around 9 of 10 workers do not like their job. Having had many jobs I despised, I can see why. Basically jobs are engineered from the ground up to be stressful as stressing the individual workers with many mental burdens is vastly cheaper than eliminating the burdens.
Put another way, your stress is actually offsetting much of the real cost of production and is a key competitive component of most employers.
I am one of those rare individuals who decided, about eight years ago, to work only in a manner and place that I could enjoy and of course, provide for a reasonable standard of living. The requirements on me were substantial but doable as I started preparing for the transition before resigning the hell hole I was working at.
Also being of a suicidal mindset was turned to advantage. If the gamble failed I knew I could depart as I was certain that once the assholes (the company name being withheld) where in the rear view mirror for the last time, there was no going back.
It has worked. So life is now just great right? Hardly. But at least I no longer directly support assholery and I love my job. Now I can get on with other issues, perhaps.
The more confounding and mentally taxing even simple drudgery is, the less time the worker has to reflect on the severe inequity being foisted upon them, too. At least that’s how it is where I work. We might make and wash a unit that sells for $2,000,000 in one day, and get paid $130 each. But on the job, you have no time to think about it, granted all the stupid rules and artificial stressors you have to deal with.
Also, the title of this post reminds me of, “Babu babu…”
Mousy? Hey girl! \(^^)
I’d like to see how your brows look now. Post a pic?
Well I bleached my brows into seemingly non-existence (I just love looking like an alien). :}
Heyy.
If only I could post pictures in the comments. I don’t wanna clog up the website with posts about eyebrows xD
Bleaching hmmm? Maybe you want to keep your eyebrows for later, possibly. Some shave their brows off but I heard it takes months to grow back.
Haha I much don’t like to work either, I hoped to never work and kill myself so I’d never have to! Eh, I only had one job before the one I have now, but I got it so I could afford to buy a gun to end my life. The stupid ***** fired me before I got the last paycheck I needed to buy my shotgun. That was back in idk 2014. I planned initially to kill myself in 2012, I couldn’t buy a gun until my 18th birthday so I counted on that being the year that I kill myself since I was like way young… 12 or something. I got this job now actually to be able to afford to kill myself too but lots of weird fucking shit keeps happening and I keep getting all these random stupid bills. Right now I want to kill myself any day now, but I guess I’m working on finishing paying my bills. I sold all of my items so now the only belongings I have are my clothing so I can go outside decent and my bed because I’m practically bedridden .. I never expected to live this long. On my grandmother’s death, the only thing I’ve ever wanted was to commit suicide in 2012 and not be alive here today … damn what a waste of time