I really just wanna quit my job and end my life. I wonder why I haven’t been sacked or lost my hours yet? 3 hours a day so I’m already very underemployed. I don’t have the energy to find another job. The idea of working sucks. Everything sucks. Meh
the appeal of having a local boyfriend gets stronger and stronger… (I have an long distance boyfriend who lives a few thousand k’s from me)
But I want this to work out.
I can’t give up so easily. I just can’t see this going anywhere. The prices of rentals there seem to be pretty much almost extortionate. Makes the prices here seem very cheap in comparison. There has to be something, right. Maybe he’s not looking hard enough?
Let’s face it, I don’t think anyone wants to live in a rundown, dirty dump with horrible neighbours.
It’s going to really suck if we just meet in real life for a really short time again, then I’ll have to leave and I’ll be bored and miserable again…
Sure I could dump him and just get a rich guy who will pay for everything… I don’t want that lol. I won’t be attracted to the guy. I know someone online who did just that, got a fairly rich guy… although he works his butt off. I’ll never know if she is attracted to him or attracted to his money. I hope its the former.
I just want to cry forever…
It’s natural to pick on others who are deemed to be ‘weaker’ than you. This is not only human nature. Of course there are always exceptions to the rule…
Doesn’t mean it’s ok to do this, but it happens and always will happen.
I don’t see the point in going on anymore!
Ugh, I remember last time I met my ldr (was then online) boyfriend I had waited around 1 year and 3 months.
We only got back together like 3 months ago (he broke up with me for a few months in between) and I’m so impatient. Ugh fuck this! why can’t I just be patient. Stupid me.
Not everyone who wants to die has an illness (physical, mental, etc).
Some people just want to die.
I’m not right in the head
Life is so stupid and boring (I’ve tried to make it less boring).
I have a few thousand K and I still cannot meet my LDR boyfriend in real life again.
That’s what he had when he last came to see me in real life last year. I’m starting to think that he doesn’t really want to meet again despite what he says.
I have the money, what’s the issue? lol!
Life is actually so boring I consider drinking!!!
…even if the girl was happy and smiling and had her arms seemingly lovingly around him while the guy has a straight face and stands there like a seemingly lifeless entity. He isn’t even touching her at all, let alone has his arms around her. Man, if this isn’t a joke this has gotta be one of the most off wedding pics i’ve seen!
Then again, I’ll probably never have any kind of wedding before I die… :/
Oh well. I hope all goes well for them.
Cake is NOM!!!!
Ugh why do certain foods make me burp and burp and burp and gassy? ugh! Alot of the time I’m bloated too, it sucks, I feel that I have to suck my stomach in… I’m not fat -_-
Sometimes the gas is painful too until I can burp it all out. I wonder if anyone else has the same problem. Maybe I’ll become a gasbag and be done with it.
I don’t wanna be a gasbag…
Yup, on numerous occasions I’m holding in burps as well lol…
First world problem, I know… it just sucks. Seems like nobody else has this issue, or they won’t admit it.
When will it be over….? 🙁
Mocket man (is mocket a word?)
Clock it man
I’ll never get the rest I asked for, but I’m not alone… there’s multitudes of people who are long overdue for a rest but may or may not ever get it…
It’s so unfair!!!
Not suicide related
I’d definetly consider other guys these days. My boyfriend gives me little hope. Its a shame because we both relate really well and we’re both fucked up. I’m still very much attracted to him and I want him… but I don’t even know what the heck he even wants lol. I thought he was going to get his own place. Things didn’t work out with the owner. I even had to ask, he didn’t keep me updated. Why doesn’t he keep looking? And why would he want a nice and modern place? That’s picky. I’m fine with clean, older/old places (I’m in one now!).
I get tempted to meet him but I have to control myself. I have a bit more money now. I bought some clothes. Couldn’t help it. Lol.
You’ve got 8 more months if I don’t end my life before then. I said I was gonna give myself a year. There’s 8 months to go…
I finally passed my coffee course today. I don’t really care. Meh.
Wish I was dead so badly.
I’m merely waiting to die….
I don’t wanna do anything anymore.
I’m tired, but I can’t ever rest.
Feel free to mention what you have too lol. Just for fun. I’m not trying to boast here and you can skip the post if you don’t like it.
Here’s some stuff I have:
New nintendo 2ds xl animal crossing edition
Nintendo amiibo animal crossing (isabelle, tom nook, kapp’n, reese, cyrus, k.k slider, mabel able)
Lenovo t240 laptop
Logitech g935 headset
2 mousemoth plush keyrings
2 mice pins (that you can attach and remove from stuff)
More mousemoth stuff
Brown fur mousy (only a toy sadly but she’s real in my heart)
Tails plush (sonic the hedgehog knows him)
Handbag with a funny lookin face on it
Pink bow sandals
Logitech mx518 mouse
fucking tired of everything as usual. fuck off life, GO AWAY. GOOOOOOOOOOO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWAY!
when will i get my rest? 🙁
LIFE IS SHITTTTT
What is there left for me to do…. engage in this barista course that I’m rather hopeless at…
My unstable shitty job that I’m sick of…
I think I’m brain damaged from all the years of abuse (not physical)…
At least my ex is smart. He’s fucked up like me. He has talents though. Unlike me. I’m not smart. (My words)
I’ll try to arrange alternative arrangements for my mum in 1-3 months.
I can’t do this anymore.
I’m tired of pretending to be ok for my boyfriend. I’m tired of putting on a mask. I’m essentially making some things up to him so he doesn’t think I’m being unproductive and useless. He can talk about how unsocial it is where he lives, that he wants his own place, that he might be depressed….see I can’t talk like that about myself to him… :/
Yeah it sucks because I like him in pretty much all other ways. Oh well. My fault.
I want to see him again but I fear he’ll just find out how much of a failure I really am…
I wanted to be good at this course but I’m not… by the way… we don’t just pour pre made coffee from a jug where I am… we use the barista coffee machine. So think… grinding beans, putting ground coffee into a portafiler (google if you don’t know), putting that on the machine, making the coffee flow through that and turns into liquid coffee down below, steaming/texturing milk with a steam wand… all that stuff…
I wish I could go on… but I don’t think it will ever get better. Anything that could make it better is temporary, short term, just a bandage that falls off.
Trying to get another job here is just…. ugh. People tend to say ‘unless you already have a job lined up here or know someone who can arrange a job for you, don’t bother coming!’