i keep trying to wreck myself instead of killing it,i cut even tho i don’t consider myself a cutter, i smoke but im not a smoker either, and i fucking hate food, and now for the first time in my life i’m starting to pass out randomly. the thing is tha now im not doing anything particularly to trigger this. but what’s even more sick is that i feel proud, it’s like my plans are working and im slowly dying. most of the passing outs happened when i’m alone thankfully and i was in a place to rest and not fall. it was only once when i was out and for that people called my family and now they are focusing more on what i do,, i hate that i want to fucking die in peace.
is it sick to be happy that you are sick? im pretty sure something is very wrong with my body cuz my heart hurts but im happy? it’s so weird and complicated
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I know, right? I’ve been so occupied the last 13 years thinking how will I ever have the means to be able to commit but because I didn’t have lethal means I had to pick up dirty habits and pray for a cancer that kills you quick. Apparently smoking cigarettes will only knock about 10 years off your life.. I need something that will kill me now lmao XD
Oh boi just 10 years? I thought more.. thats so sad dammit , i really hope we all find some way out someday
Apparently you can overdose on tobacco and there’s a lethal dose but it requires smoking like one to two packs one smig after another. I tried it once but got to be too much and I didn’t die. That’s what happens when I just don’t know how to kill myself..
damnn i should try thattt sad tho that it didnt work for you 🙁