Moving On

A few weeks ago I was having trouble socially. A person who I was friends with, who I’m just going to call Callie, had cut me off. I just wanted to know what had happened but it got to the point that, in hindsight, it had turned into almost harassment. A close friend of mine, who I’m going to call Eli, took my phone and got Callie’s number off of it. Then, without my knowledge and with me actually telling her the day before not to, texted Callie. The text was basically asking her to talk to me, but the final line was something along the lines of “if you don’t you’ll be sorry”. Although she didn’t intend it this way, it was apparently interpreted as a threat. Callie and her family assumed it was me with a burner phone and called the police. However my parents knew about a month before this Eli had asked to talk to Callie and I had told her no. They told the police this and the police went to talk with Eli. Callie and her family are now pressing charges against Eli. Although legally I am not responsible for anything that has happened I have been warned to stay away from Callie, and possibly from Eli for now. However Callie is very close with another close friend of mine, who I’m going to call Gale. I felt I had no choice, so I made the choice for her to choose her and Callie’s friendship over hers and mine. Now she is really angry with me and thinks this is happening because of her. I have tried talking to her and I emailed her one last time to tell her that if she wants to try to make our friendship work to reply, which she never did although I can see she has read to email. I have taken this as she wants our friendship to be over.
I’m sorry to say this story does not have a happy ending yet. That’s not actually why I’m putting this out here. Earlier today I felt the urge to self harm by scratching at my arms because of everything, especially how my friendship with Gale is being destroyed. But instead I decided I’ve already caused enough scars and cried enough tears over Callie, and she isn’t worth any more to me. That I myself am worth more than that and this entire situation is not strong enough to knock me down completely. I wanted to put this out there that even when it feels like your life is falling apart, don’t let the people trying to make you crumble have the satisfaction of you doing their job for them. Don’t give in to those thoughts; show the world you are stronger and you are worth more then they have made you feel. That shows more about their character then it does yours. So don’t give them the satisfaction that they have made you feel like trash because of things going on in their lives.
You’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think -Winnie the Pooh.
Never forget that. You are worth more than the people who want to tear you down because they know you want to tear yourself down and feel it gives them a way to make themselves feel better. So don’t give up.