I wonder what happened to the people who used to write on this site back on 2015..
are they still alive? are they doing better worst? are they still stuck as I am?
I used to write here about how lost and stuck I am, since 2013 till 2015 when I quite writing about my feeling and started to ignore them!
yeah the worst thing you could ever do..
and now i’m here again 2019 and YET nothing has changed for the better it’s even worst by every mean!
I still am the same depressed lost soul !
seeking help by anyone who could and yet no one seems to.
ever since 2013 i was hoping i could change, i could do better
you know i’ve done better on some sides like i got a job!
but yet i am still that neglected girl who has no friends and heart broken as ever due to being so stupid !
i always wanted to run away and start a new but never been or will be able to,
so i guess i have to deal with what i have and this time i will deal !
this site used to be my safe space where i come to lay everything that’s weighting me down and here i am going back to writing about my depression and about my stupid depressed little story !!
will it ever change? i mean could i ever have a happy ending! now that i am 25 years old, and been suffering since i was 19.
maybe it will be different this time.
let’s get to the bottom of this, i am willing to be a new person, i want to change and focus
i want to be happy and i have a hope for it.
the last day i was working and out of nowhere a short video pops up talking about hope! guess it was some kind of a hidden message for me, that even after all of these years there is still a hope somewhere and i’m going to find it.
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I used to be on this website too in 2015. I think I made a profile that year, or the year before. I only log in every now and then (a few times a year) these days and never really post anything anymore. The reason: I did get better. I never would have believed that would happen. I went to therapy in 2015, after being severly suicidal for about nine months and that saved my life. It was the best thing that’s ever happened to me. However, I did have relapses. My depression wasn’t fully gone until the start of 2018 (the suicidal urges and then thoughts faded over the course of about… 1.5 – 2 years) and in this past year I’ve experienced three major breakdowns where I became severly suicidal again, but for short periods of time (relatively speaking). Therapy helps me a lot, helps me get through them, even when I feel like I don’t want to. Yesterday, I was one year clean from self harming.
i’m relatively new to this site and your comment has given me hope. i want to go to therapy in hopes it will help me. congrats on one year that’s amazing!
I was here then. I still talk to many who were. If you remember any names, just ask about them
I’ve been praying hoping and wishing to kill myself every day since 2007, I was always really sad back then because I wanted to kill myself really really young but I wasn’t of age to get a gun and I didn’t have any pals who would help me out, so I suffered through those years and waited it out till I was 18. The day that I planned to immediately move over to the dealer buy a gun and put myself to sleep. I couldn’t afford it I didn’t have job yet sold all my belongings and still couldn’t afford it. So ya it’s been weird ever since then I’ve had people following me around. I’ve been raped 160 times in the last two years and put in jail by some crazy chick who was following me and using me and committed battery on me twice. (I had to pay the jail about 10,000$ because of this crazy chick)
It’s weird, sad, and terrible for me because I thought and deserve to be (to benefit myself) already dead.
Hi jano.11,
I first joined in 2015. I still think about this site every once in a while and like to post to it because it has helped me through hard times.
Today was actually my birthday, and for some reason when I wanted to write about it, I thought about this site! Haha
So I decided to write about it here.
I by no means can speak for anyone else, but I was able to get through inner turmoil cause by deep family issues I’ve harbored for a long time–issues that I didn’t know were weighing me down. It took a while to sort through my feelings and my place in the family and where I stand in my life.
I am now in a manageable place overall. It’s not sunshine everyday, but I feel okay much more. I let myself be angry and I let myself be sad. Then I just try my best to let it go.
Hope you get through your own inner turmoil!
Talk to you perhaps in another 4 years! 🙂