So…

Alright. Well it sounds nice. I hope I enjoy my time there, if I end up going. I had ice cream earlier today. Now my throat feels kinda funny. Not the first time. And I kinda keep sneezing. I think I’m sick again, but I don’t know.

I want this non existence to end. I should learn to manage my money better. I actually won a bit and some is saved but due to always being bored I feel that I’m quite the chronic spender.

I wish I was a better person but at heart I’m rather selfish and self centred and don’t like to socialise. Not a great thing to admit but at least I do now.

I feel that ending it is slowly becoming something I will need to do in the near future. I seriously wanted to wait a year. I don’t see that happening. My life isn’t getting any better.

Continuously having to hide the fact that I’m very suicidal from my boyfriend is irritating…. I wish he’d understand. I like him in other ways though…

I guess these next few weeks are going to go too slowly :/

I don’t live alone, but living in a flat/apartment sucks. People cannot mind their own business in them. For example: I slide a chair, the upstairs neighbour does the same. I close the cupboard door, neighbour copies. I move stuff across the floor, neighbour copies. I close a drawer, neighbour copies.

It only takes one idiot to ruin things. I dislike people so much.

Btw, do something about the poker machines. Having them in every bar and club is sick and predatory. America is full of guns. Well Australia is full of poker machines!

Mindless babbling since I can’t sleep…