Well

I know my dad is trying to weave me back into his life…

… to a place where I don’t want to be…

…I will again be trapped.

No, thanks. Years of emotional abuse was enough.

If you know how abusers operate, they will abuse you… But to others, abusers will put on a display and convince others that they are a really good person. And people fall for it, and they will never guess that this is actually an abuser. Try telling them, and they’ll be like, oh how dare you accuse (name) of being abusive!!!

I know the emotional abuse has severely affected me, no matter how much I want to deny it. At least 18 years of emotional abuse. It never goes away. And no matter how much you try to put it away, you just can’t. People who tell you to just get over this stuff and move on are either… butt wipes, or extremely ignorant.

There are just some things my LDR boyfriend is just going to never understand….

But despite, we can relate quite nicely.

Sadly though, I’m putting up a front for him. I pretend to be happy when I’m really miserable. I know the cracks are starting to show as of recently because I just can’t keep this up anymore!

I will see him in August, and I hope to end it after that (unless something else happens)…

I feel I do not have a choice anymore. But if I see my LDR boyfriend one last time, then honestly, I think that’s going to be a life well lived 🙂

I’ll have to get someone to take care of my mum…

If I’m dead. I’ll win. And my dad certainly won’t have any chance of emotionally controlling and abusing me if I’m dead.

I’m seriously going to meet my LDR boyfriend irl again. I have to last!!!! Not being able to see him would be so unfair.