Anybody want a friend/need to vent?

Ya I could probably find something to talk about.
Hi nice to meet you, I have a name but I dont use it because it was chosen by my hideous disgusting parents who I’ve always hated, so I hate the name. I’ve never had any friends, relationships, in short – I’ve never cared about anyone.

The only thing I planned during my schooling years was to take my life as soon as i turned 18 and it was legal to buy a gun – while all the other filthy children planned college. The only thing I have thought about since 2006 is suicide. I was so so so happy and excited because I finally turned 18 in 2012 and I thought I was FINALLY going to be able to commit after waiting six years. It’s the only thing I have ever wanted. At last minute I was stopped by a random wh*re. That is the only reason I am alive today, but I’d much much much much much much prefer death. Every day of my life I would have chosen to kill myself then over living all of the days since then.

I hate children. I hate babies. I hate heterosexuals. I hate white families. I think they are just desperate sex addicts. I started getting stalked, followed in 2016 where I started being r*ped at least once a week, usually by a man. I have been a homosexual woman since 1998. So after I was anal-r*ped one night, I overdosed on 700 pills. I started getting sleep paralysis. And I dream about usually the same hideous strangers every night and I don’t know why, I’d rather die than dream about these ugly families, but as of now I don’t have a choice because I don’t think they’d let me buy a shotgun at the store.
The people I’ve always hated/ that have sexually molested me, since a small child, had me placed on involuntary hold. I found all the people working were lackluster, dull, brainless wh*res who only knew how to do one thing: pop a pill in your mouth. (Or shove a needle in your @ss.) I can assure you one thing, taking pills is like putting a bandage over a bullethole and pretending the dead body will regain consciousness because you prayed over it.

That’s ok though because i know a way to get shotguns without passing a background check at the store. I just have to wait until I have enough money then I wish hope and pray (and when I say pray I don’t mean it religiously because I am a devout atheist who hates christ.)

I can buy a shotgun and drive myself to the middle of nowhere and kill myself by shotgun to head. I’ve been planning this since 2006. I’m really really really depressed that I haven’t killed myself yet because I promised myself vowed and was so happy it was finally time to commit in 2012!!

The only thing I’ve ever wanted was to die the day I turned 18.
I never want to see any of these random freaks again and there’s no better way to get away from them than actually dying. I have no idea why these ugly families are obsessed with, following me.

Apparently it is against their religion (mormon LDS) to commit suicide so I apparently have to convert to LDS for a bunch of nasty wh*res. Where they force me to remain alive for no reason. And they randomly rape me while I sleep?