For far too long
Now just a shell
Of my former self
My identity is lost
Been in such a fog
My hope has shattered
My soul’s been battered
Life’s been too much to bear
About my family, I do care
But for me, believe me
I give up, it’s not easy
I’m all empty inside
No longer want to hide
I’m done starting over
I’m done being bolder
Don’t judge me by this weakness
My isolation, recent meekness
Don’t blame it on you
I decided I’m through
The good times we had
Remember it wasn’t all bad
Parks, fairs, museums, walks
Hugs, kisses, and many talks
My strength has expired
I’m just so very tired
This weight off my shoulders
Deciding it’s over
Did research for years
Through pain and in tears
About this final way out
Yes, I had doubts
But no matter what I tried
This pain wouldn’t subside
So into the dark abyss
I no longer exist
2 comments
So many poems with this subject ignore that life has had good moments. Including them brought balance and sweetness to your poem. Thanks for sharing .
I envy you. I’ve never had a family. Those who delusion themselves into believing they are part of my family – I can’t wait until they find out I am dead. I’ve also never had a good time. Are you posting this poem before your final exit or just a creative project? If you are really going now, you left us on a perfect note, I envy you still, I’ve been needing to die for a very long time. All I can do right now without an easy way to commit is pray every night. I’ve prayed every night since 9 years old to die in the night while I sleep. Nothing has happened and that’s when I knew I’d have to get a gun to be able to die. I expected to be dead 7 years ago, I have no idea why I am still alive today.