Four years later, I am here; thankful that I didn’t give up, that i didnt end it when i thought that was my only option. I reread some of my posts and i remember vividly what that time was like but to anyone reading, to anyone searching for a sliver of hope to hold on to: this is for you. An overused cliche line i used to hate is “it gets better”, I always thought it was just a stupid expression, a common courtesy. But it does truly get better, it wont be easy and it wont be fast; it takes time – sometimes even four years (i should know) but holding on is so so worth it. See for yourself. Don’t end it.
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Thanks for the encouragement. In my case it is 15 years. Still hasn’t gotten better. Maybe it isn’t true for everyone.
Some problems might simply be deeper (e.g. genetic) than others.
im sorry its been that long. do u experience any kind of happiness ? even if for a short while?
No. It. Doesn’t. It gets worse every single f*cking day. Stop lying.
In my case it is 15 years too..and has gotten catastrophically worse the last 3 years. I try to maintain a cool head and not mind what happens now and then because I know I’m very close to blowing off my head with a gun, so I know nothing that happens even matters. Lol. I’ve been planning to blow my head off with a gun for 15 years. The original plan was to blow off my head with a gun 7 years ago. I had wished and prayed for 2012 to be my very last moment on earth, but for some reason -that I have no idea of – (probably just the people I’ve hated my entire life) I am still alive here today. All I’ve done the last 7 years is stare at a wall.
@cod:s
hey i get you i read posts similar to mine at an all time low and rolled my eyes wondering how someone could be a) so insensitive and b) plain stupid but i’ve seen for myself how things can make an unexpected turn for the better or and im not saying its always good things, just better. sometimes. and dont get me wrong it got worse, its gets worse, some days its going to be fricken HARD but what i was hoping to get across is that you’d never know if it gets better, you wont experience what it feels like to be here and to look back and be happy to see your growth. you’d never know if you’re not here. want to talk? im open to anything u can feel free to not be nice i dont take offense
Reading your other posts, it seems you have improved a lot and that’s a personal matter and completely your choice to be feeling good. So maybe things did get better for you.. Just trust me, they don’t get better for everyone.
you don’t know that though :/ the post was titled endurance because it means having to go through tough parts of life with the bigger picture in mind. it was meant to be a hopeful story with the intention of helping someone see it from a different perspective.
please read my reply to another comment below it was meant for everyone but you specifically
Life gets better with work and continuing through the shit even when it’s confusing and painful…you just keep going. How do we know there is freedom and finality in death? I personally don’t believe there is. Studies show almost everyone who survives an attempt, don’t truly want to leave.
exactly, thank you