Friendships Fail Too

I keep questioning it. Life. You know that thing we are somehow supposed to be grateful for and think that we are supposed to feel that it is worth living. My friends don’s see the signs anymore and part of me likes it that way. They do not know how depressed I am or how painful life is. Most of my friends aren’e even there anymore so its not like they are paying attention anyway. Life just feels like its ripping me in two. It feels like everything is ripping at my soul and mind. It feels like now that my friends are gone I start wondering why my soul seems to be in such turmoil. How do we let people get in so deep to who we are so we then don’t know how to function without them. I want to learn how to be self sufficient so I don’t require anyone and then when things go south no one other than me will notice that I’m gone. Life is ripping at me from the seams in the form of people and its awful.