I mean, what is there to expect anymore? What is there to hope about? Love, family and friendship have died long ago. Money also I don’t have.
Life is a balance between relationships and money, right? You see very wealthy people and they claim they are lonely, mature successful people who are unmarried and childless, etc, the people who say that money can’t buy happiness. Yes you don’t have happiness, but you have money.
And on the other hand you see a homeless person, or a generally poor person, with 5 kids or whatever, with family warmth. Sure they do struggle to pay the bills but they have friends/family who are willing to (probably) take a bullet for them. They are broke and sick but their spouses stick by their side. Sure you are broke, but you have friends and family.
What is there to look for in life if you have none. No friends and family. No one to love and be loved. I have lost all my money in the stock market, attempted to recover and then started a business, lost again. My life is a constant struggle of failure, failure and failure. I move forward 1 step to fall further backwards 5 steps. I don’t want to return back to live with my mom (like all failures do) but I can’t afford my own place. With the little money from freelance jobs I make right now I may still be able to get by living in a dog-house-like apartment perhaps.
There’s no single day that don’t go by that I don’t wish I have cancer. There is nothing to look for in life. Nothing at all. I wish I had died back then. I regret choosing life. I should have just ended it all when I was young and emotional.
6 comments
I understand that your point here is that you have neither money nor a relationship, but it just is not true at all to say that relationships and money are negatively related. You’re cherry picking your two examples and ignoring the overall statistics.
I don’t know your personal history but it may not be the worst idea to take some time off and move back in with your mother. Don’t underestimate the potential of how parents can love their children. Talk to them about everything you can.
I know you concluded by saying that you have nothing to look forward to in life, but when your entire post revolves around relationships and money, isn’t there a part of you who still wishes for these aspirations?
Abysmal advice. Please don’t offer advice if that’s what you’ve got. All you will do is send this poor soul down the exact same path that led me to my last two suicide attempts, and will take me to my final(Your first paragraph is correct, though. Money can buy anything, so it’s deeply unfair to say they are negatively related statistically, yes).
Is there… a reason you feel the need to denigrate other people’s perspectives and call them wrong? I think you’re intentionally ignoring how reality works. Of course suicidal and depressed people still wish for nice things. Duh. They just understand too well that those things will never be, and not from lack of trying: Reminding them that once upon a time they were a fool doesn’t help; it just pours salt into wounds.
I agree with this post. When it comes to love & money, people who have only 1 always want the other. But nobody understands true hopelessness until you have neither.
At least if you have 1, then you have something to build on. If you have money without love, at least you can travel & meet people & make yourself attractive with fancy cars, clothes, etc. It may not buy love, but at least you’ll meet people, and that’s the first step. There’s hope.
If you have love but no money, then at least you have the emotional support of another person, or like you said you have a reason to struggle or even die for the other person. Like above, it’s not a guarantee that your struggles will pay off but it’s a start. At least you have a reason to try.
When you have nothing, then you have… nothing.
Rockbottom, yes, thank you for understanding my meaning. It’s hard to have hope when you have nothing at all, no money to start over, no friends/family to eat instant noodles with. I realized this from early on. I knew from early on that I will not have love. So I decided to forgo love completely and chased money instead. In the end, I still failed. Now I have none.
“no money to start over, no friends/family to eat instant noodles with.”
Wow, what a PERFECT example. Yes when you have love, family & friends, then even the hard times are fun. Eating instant noodles with friends, what a great memory even though it was hardship. Now the same act of eating instant noodles (alone) is pure depressing.
I can also relate to your lost gamble of chasing money over love. I’m guessing you pushed others away, or avoided socializing, or ignored that cute stranger at the coffee shop. And now it’s too late because, let’s face it, cute strangers at coffee shops aren’t interested in peniless older people.
Wish I had some advice for you. For both of us. The best advice I can say is: if you did it once then you should be able to do it again. Theoretically. If you were smart enough to pick a winning stock before, or start your own business, or hell even just figure out how to save money before, then you should be able to do it again. At least that’s what I tell myself every time I look at my near-zero bank account ha.
I agree. Why continue living when all love and friendship died a long long time ago?