Happiness

I have what I’ve wanted most for a long time. And yet tonight, among other nights, I feel as if i’ll Never be really happy. It’s a defeating feeling. I’m scared to die, little frightened rabbit that I am. To just turn off the noise, wow. It’s terrifying. Beautiful and simple and – oh, to be or not to be? All that. What dreams may come. All that.
I’m trying to be more, to do more, to feel worth in myself. I’m at a loss. I feel broken down and hollow, I can barely recognize myself inside. It seems The biggest thing that’s followed me is the horror and the emptiness.

Let’s see where this goes. And off to bed, and off to bed.