Hello. You do not know me, but I go by Fern. I was recently diagnosed with depression and perscribed medication. Unfortunately, it does not work very well.
Right now, I’m sitting in my room, because my father has yelled at me. He is NOT an abusive man, but he took out his anger on me and my very young brothers for making a mess. Unfortunately, I am not a confrontational person and let him yell at me.
What was the consequence, you might ask? The removal of my only true antidepressant, video games.
I know he is not aware that this is the only thing keeping me from using that rope in the garage. I am also aware that any kind of addiction is unhealthy. But, as stated before, I am not a confrontational person. I do not share feelings, and therefore do not get the help I need.
I might post again, I might not. Sometimes, I want to die so badly it physically hurts. Sometimes I lay awake at night wondering why I was unlucky enough to be so insignificant, so worthless that I am isolated by my own family.
Other times, I am fine. i am a normal girl with a normal life. Those times are rare these days, though.
Thank you for listening.
3 comments
Hi, I’m not sure if you’ll see this or anything, but here’s to hoping you will!
You do not know me either, you go by Fern, I go by Omega.
I’ve read everything you’ve said and I’m not gonna say I’m sorry to hear, but rather that I understand. I understand how you feel. I’m not saying it will get better, I myself don’t believe I will get better. But you’re not alone. If you wish to speak, I’ll gladly listen.
I don’t have a family and never have, lol. I’ve been trying to commit suicide for 15 years. I would be dead today but stupid as I am I just bought a new car and now I have to wait a year or so to pay it before I can kill myself. I was supposed to be dead and gone since 2012
I’ve been recently diagnosed too. Apparently I have borderline personality disorder. I’m told its serious. I was also given medication for it. I’ve been on it for about 10 days. I tell you all of this because it might take time for your medication to work. Mines going to take 1-2 MONTHS to actually start working. I know I did a lot of research and asked some friends about it before I even started taking it. If you want to talk or anything just let me know 🙂