Hello.

I want to die. I’m not depressed, mentally destressed, stressed in general, etcetera I’m general an average person. But. I just don’t like existing. I’d rather not. It’s my opinion, like apples to oranges. I like apples more than oranges. I’d like to die more than I’d like to live. I don’t hate my life (other than the simple fact of being alive), I don’t hate myself, people don’t hate me, for the most part, I mean you can’t be friends with anyone, y’know. I’ve been depressed, but when I’m depressed I’m not suicidal. I mostly just want attention and comfort, someone to talk to about my feelings. Not suicidal thoughts, just simply I’m feeling x because of y and I want to talk about it. When I’m happy, or stable I suppose, which is most of the time, I rational think about how I want to commit suicide. I enthusiastically tell peers about my plans. I know that sounds bizarre. I say it with a smile on my face, a genuine smile, I actually don’t feel bad, I feel content in the room with the other person discussing costs and methods. Not like I do this in my free time, but whenever the topic comes up, I bring out my handy-dandy notebook of suicidal ideation. Loads of papers, I’m obsessed. Not like that. Like you’d be obsessed about something coming up like a holiday, someone coming over, event, studying your favorite subject…mines death.

Let me attempt to explain my reasoning in more depth: I don’t, like, the idea of, existing on a universal plane. Scratch that, anywhere. In anything, as anyone. It’s so incredibly boring, stupid, and pointless. Pointless meaning without meaning or logical reason. Not in a “depressed like manner.” Just as it is pointless to check under the sun to see if there’s anything new up there, it is pointless to exist.

Question time – why live? Why live other than what you’ve been taught, or indoctrinate into? Give me one, one thing to live for.

Apart from anything you have ever known in your entire lifetime, generations.

There is no answer, just contemplation and realization. Nothing. Literally nothing. We we’re born humans and taught to be people. People who live in a society. In the world, a spinning rock. Imagine that.

I bet, if we we’re another species, from another reality, gazing at multiple other realities, we’d defiantly be the Sims.

Fun to play for awhile, but we eventually get so,
pointless. Dull. Meaningless. Boring. Bleh. I don’t wanna play Sim’s anymore, let’s play something else.

No spicing up my life will do nothing
No seeing someone will do nothing.
No taking pills will do nothing.
No seeing new people, making friends, going out distracting myself from the realities of life , as we all do, will do nothing.
No moving will do nothing.
No, anything else, no
No
The only thing that could’ve saved me was condoms, birth-control, or abortion. Whoops. Missed opportunity.
If you’re thinking ‘well, how does this person expect us to help??’
Don’t lol, answer the main question and you’ll be fine.
What do you think?