5:30 AM. Been trying to sleep since 10 PM last night. Nothing works. Can’t drink – it fucks up my already fucked up gut. Can’t afford even cheap generic bourbon anyway. The prescription pain killers don’t work anymore. They just give me a headache. No where to turn. Backed into a corner by a world that’s become so corrupt, contemptible and immoral – not one shred of anything left worth breathing for
and it won’t stop
it just won’t stop
make it stop
4 comments
I’m sorry you had such a rough night. Hope you were able to get some rest.
I understand on a level you wouldn’t believe. So I’m not going to spout some useless garbage about how it gets better. No. Barring death, the best thing you can do is be unconscious or wasted. Because even though it makes things worse as you pointed out, at least it’s better than doing nothing. If cheap bourbon is out of your league, switch to cheap vodka. A bottle costs less than your average meal, and if things are really bad then you probably don’t have the desire to eat so skip a meal and get wasted. This crappy advice is probably better than anything you’ll ever get from the suicide help line. I live by it, and I hope to holy satan that I’ll die by it. Bottoms up, friend.
I am sorry you’re in this so much pain. I know that the pain can’t be compared to anything but I don’t know if it’ll get better. I don’t want to tell you that it will be fine or anything when I can’t even stand up for myself. Just hold on for now mate. Let’s try a little bit longer.
DON’T GIVE UP!
Yes, The world is full of evil, liars and bad advice. I will not be giving you any bad advice. Try this… Find the most positive and inspiring information that you can and start saying it out loud as much as possible, until your mind starts changing. It all starts there! When her mind hears anything long enough, it will believe it. I want you to have hope because this world is not just filled with evil but also good.
I pray that you will find some hope in what I have said here and you would be able to talk about whatever it is you need to talk about. Just say it out loud… Whatever it is you need to say. Get it out, write it down, get it off your chest. Once you do that, say “I let you go!” Ask for healing. You never know what could happen.