It Seems So Clear…….But It’s Not That Easy :'(

looking back through my posts it seems the majority are about my friend and how i fucked up. then theres the few about how my husband annoys me. (followed by the occasional drunk post but they arent important) its clear how i feel but with my disorders its not that easy. and that aside he said we’re never getting back together. and the worse part…he didnt say it because he hates me or anything like that. he did it because he knew that because of my disorders that it would hurt me to be with him at this point. theres just so many problems with everything. the whole situation makes me feel like i have no control over the rest of my life. like this is just the way it is now.