It’s only February

I lost my job last week. My 5th job in 18 months. I haven’t told my family yet. I’ve signed up for some independent contractor jobs so I can bring in some money. I’m such a coward that I dragged my ass out of bed at 3:30am just to sit in my car all day and maintain the illusion that I have a job…all because I’m too afraid to tell anyone I lost another job. Some agent from the attorney generals office is calling me about the last job I lost. I got an order from the licensing board to appear for an evaluation, so if I want to keep my professional license and avoid a huge fine and/or expensive monitoring program I’m going to have to find a lawyer. I’m so broke I’m trying to sell off mutual funds in my IRA so I can free up some cash. I keep talking myself into and out of some sort of mental health counseling because I feel like I’m going to lose it soon. I’m so over this year already but then I know that I brought this all on myself.