A Strange Sense of Limbo

I’m starting to take my medicine more consistently now. I think before this it’s been a month or so that I’ve been off it. Right at this moment I feel oddly nervous. I have a thing I need to do for this project coming up but no real progress right now. I don’t really know what to do. Even besides that I just feel this odd sense of limbo. Like I’ve been stuck in place for too long and I haven’t done anything about it. My therapist told me to write a list so that I know what I need to do each day. I haven’t even attempted doing that. I’ve just never been a list guy. Maybe that’s why I’m so nervous. She’s going to be disappointed. I have another meeting this Thursday. Overall I don’t know how well this is going. I think one of the things that kind of bugged me is that when I explained the existentialist questions I often have, she just told me not to think about it. That’s what everyone says, but how is that an answer? I didn’t expect her to solve it, but telling me not to think about it is probably a shitty answer. I would have been perfectly fine with her saying “I don’t know?” and leave it at that, but being told to not think about it kind of pisses me off. I don’t know. It’s her birthday next month. I already asked her what she would like for a present, but she simply said she would just like to get tea with me. I still want to get her something. She’s been real hard to get in contact with lately. She says it is difficult for her right now, but I’d still like to hear her voice.