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Ever Ready

by freeroma

To let go.
Of everything, everyone.

Maybe it’s a holdover of a lifelong condition,
A conviction that given a choice there’s only one way this will end.

My mind flashed back to all the moments I gave up on this life. In despair, in defiance. Resignation and dwindling resilience.

I still view this as borrowed time. No, I will not grow into “golden” years.

Maybe it’s the way i was raised. Solid ground hard to come by, broken attachments to myself and others. Always moving, and the things that stayed not worth keeping.

I don’t believe in this life. Believing in my partner doesn’t change that.

Expectations require; and my soul rebels against the battlecry of


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Once 6/28/2020 - 11:55 pm

Sigh. Well written.

Sbilko 6/29/2020 - 12:53 am

Yes, letting go is freeing, I agree. The song and your words are very beautiful!! Death will come eventually, on its own; before that, there are so many things one can do, so many questions that can be pursued and answered. There is so much potential in every person!

Life is really hard when one doesn’t have a purpose — it’s as if the structure of reality conspires to wear us down through pain, monotony, depression and the void inside. But the person with a purpose, feels peace inside, the peace allowing him rest from the attrition of existence, sailing with the wind.

Teresa's Child 6/29/2020 - 11:27 am

I can’t think of what to say Roma. It’s a shadow that stays on the heart, and once it appears it doesn’t disappear no matter what kinds of good things happen. Believing is not so easy anymore.

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