To let go.
Of everything, everyone.
Maybe it’s a holdover of a lifelong condition,
A conviction that given a choice there’s only one way this will end.
My mind flashed back to all the moments I gave up on this life. In despair, in defiance. Resignation and dwindling resilience.
I still view this as borrowed time. No, I will not grow into “golden” years.
Maybe it’s the way i was raised. Solid ground hard to come by, broken attachments to myself and others. Always moving, and the things that stayed not worth keeping.
I don’t believe in this life. Believing in my partner doesn’t change that.
Expectations require; and my soul rebels against the battlecry of