I think I’m done this time

Last time I was on this site it was on July 11th (my birthday) when I tried to kill myself (I failed) and then I found a tiny glimpse of happiness. Now almost exactly 5 years later I find myself even more broken and on the verge of suicide yet again. That tiny glimpse of happiness I was talking about was my girlfriend we were together for 5 years. We were on and off but still remain close and basically still dated even tho we were on and off (if I’m making sense). Being with her filled me with so much happiness and I fell in love with her. She had cheated on me 2x but idk why if I was scared to be alone but I forgave her and believed her. I always did my best to make her happy even at the cost of my own happiness. Fast forward to today we were on a break but we were still talking and were not gonna date anyone else. Yesterday she texts Good morning and how did I sleep so I tell her “good morning” and I tried to be cute for her and said “I had a certain someone keeping me warm” . I forgot to add the “wish” at the beginning. So instead of talking to me about she went on a date to spite me. I told her how it was a mistake but she kept telling me “how she made plans already” she had a great time on her date and moved on just like that….. this story might not seem like a big deal but think about it this way I lost the only thing that made me happy in this world over a simple thing as a sentence something that I couldn’t t control…how can something like this happen to me how can the one thing that made me happy go away just like that….. I was already handing on by a thread I don’t have anyone to talk to about my problems the only thing I can do is keep them in and just cry about them alone….. idk how much I can take this. I’m alone I don’t anyone to turn to. Once I tried opening up to a friend and he just looked at me like I was pathetic idk what else to do. That little glimpse of happiness was the thing that kept me going and I don’t even have that now