I am my own worst enemy.

As I sat there, a young man, broke, unable to pay his own bills and still being supported by loving parents who believe that I just don’t care, when in reality, I just feel like everything and anything I attempt in any capacity is just pointless because of my sheer inability to do anything of note of value; it’s hit me.

Granted I’ve felt this for years at this point but still.

I’m my own worst enemy.

My disgusting obesity and overeating, constantly pissed off at everything I do incorrectly, always angry when parents, even when they say things out of love and support, or try to joke about it so as to not hurt my feelings, all now I’m just my own worst enemy.

I’m nothing but constantly furious at myself and the situations I get myself into. It’s all on me at this point, I’m old enough to not point any fingers.

I’m sick of wasting my own time, of relying on people’s help for everything and not on myself. It matters not what I’ve done, it wasn’t sufficient enough. I have to do better and try harder.

I think I need to see a therapist. I haven’t been to one up here, and the last time I was at one was back home like 3 years ago, and that didn’t work out too well..

Maybe I should step away from SP as well, idek.

Half the time I want to physically die. The other half of the time, I want to fix all my problems somehow.

Made this post a year ago and never posted it. Now here I am, a year later, feeling the same. I don’t know what I want, and I feel like I never will. I feel like my life ended after high school.