Hi! This is something I want to tell someone but I don’t exactly have people that I trust enough to tell. Or maybe I’m looking for advice? I don’t know— But I’m kinda conflicted with my body image. I think that I look just fine with my stretch marks and all that. Then there’s society’s image and I’m afraid of people seeing my stomach or notice how my thighs are a lot thicker than the other girls my height. I don’t cook either, I rarely step into the kitchen because I’m a mess in there. My mom is the only one who cooks and basically gatekeeps everything and is perfectly content with me only eating one meal a day so that I go back to being 80lbs but the problem is that I was 83lbs and that still wasn’t enough then. Then I went up to 96lbs and she’s not all that happy about it. I know I shouldn’t try so hard to please her but I like to eat and if I don’t lose weight she won’t let me. But if I don’t eat, which I kind of plan to, she threatens me to eat. Maybe I just wanted to rant… this has been going on for three years now since I first started to gain weight in middle school. But, to be fair I was thinking of offing myself often back then.
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have you reached out for support? my heart goes out to this one. when I met my girlfriend, she was only 100 lbs/ always fasting/ never eating. She hated herself- in every light. I hated watching her go through it.
Since we split, she hasn’t been eating. The conversation is more business-y, you know, the when will you pick up your stuff/setting times…..
I never say it, but I always worry she’ll go back to those old habits. I buy her food when we meet to arrange things. it works for the while
if i could group hug people going through this i so would. :/
Sigh… Always remember you are the judge player etc in your life. Not everone thinks the same. But i dont wanna preach and say some Cliche things like it’s okay nope its not!… Look at me! Im 200- i dont the exact weight but juss know you and only you have the right to judge yourself any other thing or person saying this or that 2 you is a N.O.! And not improtant
Your ideal weight is whatever makes you feel good. If you were happy at 80 lbs, then that’s what works for you. Don’t make yourself miserable for others. If you’re already suicidal, then you must be desperate for anything that makes you feel good and if that’s being 80 lbs then I hope you get back there.
Starving a child is never acceptable, and I’m sorry for the body image issues she’s pushed on you on top of the abuse. Threatening you is also abuse.
She wants you to go back to a weight that you kept as a smaller child. Growth spurts happen (stretch marks come from those too, most people have some), weight gains accompany that (not even touching on the fact that everyone has a different body type regardless of height) and I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. Far as advice goes, you really need to contact someone outside your household for help.