I hate spending my weekends with my abusive parents. I hate it. I fucking hate it. Something bad always happens that brings back my suicidal thoughts. I wish I could turn 18 and so I could just leave already.
my advice is to write like there’s no tomorrow. shove all your feelings into a notebook or onto a digital document, or scribble out your anger. It’s a good habit to get into and it’s pretty satisfying. Sometimes I just absolutely demolish a piece of paper and crumple it and rip it over and over after scribbling all over it
Have you calculated how many weekends there are until you turn 18? I’m not sure if that would help, but maybe it’d fill you with a bit of hope as you see the number decrease with each passing weekend. Just think of how weekends will be once you’re finally away from your parents! You deserve to enjoy them to the fullest. I’m so excited for you to finally be able to be free from your parents!
Hang in there. I suggest you start saving money and start doing your research on places to move to. Take into account how much money you’ll need. This includes Rent, electricity, groceries, basic furniture (bed, chairs, table, desk, etc), etc. A good place to start getting an idea of what you like is by downloading the Apartments app or simply browsing their website. If you don’t have a job yet then get one. A part time job most likely won’t cut it so you’ll need to get a full time job. 40 hours a week ain’t so bad, It takes some getting used to but definitely doable. If I were you I’d go into manufacturing. It’s not as difficult or as dangerous as many people make it out to be (we’re not in the industrial era anymore). Lots of overtime in manufacturing and you get paid more hourly than you do flipping burgers and dealing with rude customers. If you have the opportunity to work overtime, I recommend you take it because you get paid a higher rate per every hour you work after 40hours so if you work 55hours in 1 week you get paid more per hour after you reached that 40hour mark. If the people you live with drive you nuts then you’ll kinda view work as an escape from them. Another reason why I recommend manufacturing is because you have lots more opportunities to learn on the job while you get paid. It’s easier to move up in manufacturing than it is in fast food/grocery stores/customer service. Many manufacturers will teach you valuable skills for free and even pay for your education as long as you stay employed with them and pursue a position within the company after graduating. I would look into staffing agencies that work in your area. In my area we have Kelly Services, Pro-Logistics, Areotek, etc. Your state may have different ones. Just go on Google and type in “staffing agencies in {Your State}” and you should find something there. Many times you get hired as a temporary but if you perform well (show up on time everyday, work hard and smart, respect your coworkers/boss) you’ll often receive the opportunity to work for the actual manufacturer itself which will most likely include a raise and many benefits unlike the ones you receive at your local McDonald’s. At my last two manufacturing jobs I had 40 hours of vacation time, 14 holidays off, monthly bonuses, etc. The benefits vary from manufacturer to manufacturer. I remember at one of my manufacturing positions I had opportunity to work 77 hours in 1 week (that was $14.50/hr for 40 hrs + 37hrs of $21.75 per hour which came out to $1384.75 minus taxes of course which brought it down some but not much. I’m not saying this to brag but rather to give you some insight on the opportunities you can find in manufacturing. It’s true that many will ask for experience or certain skills but you’d be surprised who they’ll hire. I’ve seen 16 year olds working in manufacturing before so it’s definitely not difficult to learn. It’ll take time to master things but if you’re willing to work hard and learn many manufacturers will give you a chance.
But anyways, aside from manufacturing. You should probably make sure your future neighborhood has low crime rate. So start researching which areas of town are bad and which ones are decent. I like to classify them as
low-end: (high crime, crackheads, homeless, violence, “EBT accepted here” shops”, dollar stores, liquor stores, more walkers
Middle/average/ok: few of everything I just mentioned above or none at all.
High end: you pretty much don’t deal with the stuff I mentioned earlier but it comes at a higher price in $$$.
So it all comes down to making sacrifices. Remember that it’s just basic addition and subtraction when it comes to your budget. Keep tabs on your spending at all times. Settle for cheaper (but effective) products when you barely get started. Avoid eating out all the time or ordering delivery. Your biggest threat to your budget are emotional purchases. By this I mean the “ooh look at that cool shiny thing, LETS BUY IT!” or “I had a bad day at work let me go buy liquid fun (alcohol). If it’s a “want”( Xbox, Guitar, Netflix, laptop, tv, etc) always hold off on it until you know where the best deal is. If it’s a “need” then you’ll have more wiggle room because it’s the basics but try to find discounts anyway (coupons, sales, etc). I like to use the envelope system when saving money for that cool new laptop (want). I’ll take a small percentage of every paycheck I earn and set that money aside into my “wants” envelope. This will ensure you don’t kill your bank account when you go buy that new PS4 or whatever it is your saving up for.
Sorry if this response sounds like it assumes a lot about you. I’m only replying with the very little knowledge I have about your situation based off 1 post. I just wanted to offer my 2 cents (couple bucks in my case lol)
because I have experienced what you’re experiencing right now and wish I had been more ambitious in working my way out of my dads house. You’re becoming more independent the more you age and as such you will desire more freedom and personalization to your life so I suggest gaining that independence sooner rather than later. You only live once. Don’t be fooled into thinking you gotta live for other people. You only live once and you’re only young once so use your youth. Don’t let your elders bully you into dependence.
thank you so much, I really really appreciate this. You`ve given me so much useful advice I honestly can`t thank you enough. Now I actually know where to start.
It sucks that you had to go through that, but I`m glad you got away from your dad! Thank you once again
8 comments
I have so much anxiety but I have to keep smiling otherwise they`ll get mad at me
i hate this i hate this i hate this
my advice is to write like there’s no tomorrow. shove all your feelings into a notebook or onto a digital document, or scribble out your anger. It’s a good habit to get into and it’s pretty satisfying. Sometimes I just absolutely demolish a piece of paper and crumple it and rip it over and over after scribbling all over it
I`ll try that, it might help
Have you calculated how many weekends there are until you turn 18? I’m not sure if that would help, but maybe it’d fill you with a bit of hope as you see the number decrease with each passing weekend. Just think of how weekends will be once you’re finally away from your parents! You deserve to enjoy them to the fullest. I’m so excited for you to finally be able to be free from your parents!
that is a good idea, it will probably help distract me and look forward to something
Hang in there. I suggest you start saving money and start doing your research on places to move to. Take into account how much money you’ll need. This includes Rent, electricity, groceries, basic furniture (bed, chairs, table, desk, etc), etc. A good place to start getting an idea of what you like is by downloading the Apartments app or simply browsing their website. If you don’t have a job yet then get one. A part time job most likely won’t cut it so you’ll need to get a full time job. 40 hours a week ain’t so bad, It takes some getting used to but definitely doable. If I were you I’d go into manufacturing. It’s not as difficult or as dangerous as many people make it out to be (we’re not in the industrial era anymore). Lots of overtime in manufacturing and you get paid more hourly than you do flipping burgers and dealing with rude customers. If you have the opportunity to work overtime, I recommend you take it because you get paid a higher rate per every hour you work after 40hours so if you work 55hours in 1 week you get paid more per hour after you reached that 40hour mark. If the people you live with drive you nuts then you’ll kinda view work as an escape from them. Another reason why I recommend manufacturing is because you have lots more opportunities to learn on the job while you get paid. It’s easier to move up in manufacturing than it is in fast food/grocery stores/customer service. Many manufacturers will teach you valuable skills for free and even pay for your education as long as you stay employed with them and pursue a position within the company after graduating. I would look into staffing agencies that work in your area. In my area we have Kelly Services, Pro-Logistics, Areotek, etc. Your state may have different ones. Just go on Google and type in “staffing agencies in {Your State}” and you should find something there. Many times you get hired as a temporary but if you perform well (show up on time everyday, work hard and smart, respect your coworkers/boss) you’ll often receive the opportunity to work for the actual manufacturer itself which will most likely include a raise and many benefits unlike the ones you receive at your local McDonald’s. At my last two manufacturing jobs I had 40 hours of vacation time, 14 holidays off, monthly bonuses, etc. The benefits vary from manufacturer to manufacturer. I remember at one of my manufacturing positions I had opportunity to work 77 hours in 1 week (that was $14.50/hr for 40 hrs + 37hrs of $21.75 per hour which came out to $1384.75 minus taxes of course which brought it down some but not much. I’m not saying this to brag but rather to give you some insight on the opportunities you can find in manufacturing. It’s true that many will ask for experience or certain skills but you’d be surprised who they’ll hire. I’ve seen 16 year olds working in manufacturing before so it’s definitely not difficult to learn. It’ll take time to master things but if you’re willing to work hard and learn many manufacturers will give you a chance.
But anyways, aside from manufacturing. You should probably make sure your future neighborhood has low crime rate. So start researching which areas of town are bad and which ones are decent. I like to classify them as
low-end: (high crime, crackheads, homeless, violence, “EBT accepted here” shops”, dollar stores, liquor stores, more walkers
Middle/average/ok: few of everything I just mentioned above or none at all.
High end: you pretty much don’t deal with the stuff I mentioned earlier but it comes at a higher price in $$$.
So it all comes down to making sacrifices. Remember that it’s just basic addition and subtraction when it comes to your budget. Keep tabs on your spending at all times. Settle for cheaper (but effective) products when you barely get started. Avoid eating out all the time or ordering delivery. Your biggest threat to your budget are emotional purchases. By this I mean the “ooh look at that cool shiny thing, LETS BUY IT!” or “I had a bad day at work let me go buy liquid fun (alcohol). If it’s a “want”( Xbox, Guitar, Netflix, laptop, tv, etc) always hold off on it until you know where the best deal is. If it’s a “need” then you’ll have more wiggle room because it’s the basics but try to find discounts anyway (coupons, sales, etc). I like to use the envelope system when saving money for that cool new laptop (want). I’ll take a small percentage of every paycheck I earn and set that money aside into my “wants” envelope. This will ensure you don’t kill your bank account when you go buy that new PS4 or whatever it is your saving up for.
Sorry if this response sounds like it assumes a lot about you. I’m only replying with the very little knowledge I have about your situation based off 1 post. I just wanted to offer my 2 cents (couple bucks in my case lol)
because I have experienced what you’re experiencing right now and wish I had been more ambitious in working my way out of my dads house. You’re becoming more independent the more you age and as such you will desire more freedom and personalization to your life so I suggest gaining that independence sooner rather than later. You only live once. Don’t be fooled into thinking you gotta live for other people. You only live once and you’re only young once so use your youth. Don’t let your elders bully you into dependence.
thank you so much, I really really appreciate this. You`ve given me so much useful advice I honestly can`t thank you enough. Now I actually know where to start.
It sucks that you had to go through that, but I`m glad you got away from your dad! Thank you once again