Last Night, I was again surrounded by Voices trying to have full Conversations with me. Before going to Bed, a Face, someone I adore and hate the same, been shifting Mimics. I heard her Voice, but many thing I percieved been thoughts, no Voices. I started to cry many Times in Moments of Hope, in Moments of Despair, in Pain and due my Weakness. I‘m telling me that dying Assistance is the Way to go but I am not proactively desiring it, I don‘t like the farce but suffering short or suffering a whole, it is the whole because the world is obsolete when everything you see does not make it through you, into your Mind.
I started an Expensive Medicine Therapy, and I recovery great and fast in big steps physiologically but I do not recover psychic. I fear to Hang myself when I am strong enough for it. I shot myself, hang and lethally doesed myself in my mind. This is not the Happiness I cry for too.