I just registered here because I read that this place is sort of “mystical” and I guess a part of me is trying to cling on to any hope that keeps me from wanting to actually act on my suicidal thoughts.

Then I realized that suicide isn’t “mystical” and the people who are/were suicidal know that isn’t the best word to describe it. Suicide isn’t beautiful or interesting; its destructive /repulsive and deserves no respect whatsoever. Feeling like ending your life isn’t poetic .

I don’t know why I actually signed up here; I don’t know if it’ll help, but I do know that I need saving grace and I would rather lie on my deathbed knowing I did everything to try and save myself.