::going through the motions::
Today it occurs to me that my heart isn’t in anything these days. I applied for some jobs this week, not that such a thing would solve my problems, but money is the fuel that makes my world go. I need quite a bit of it to buy my freedom.
My parents are cutting down how much they help me. Accountability they say, I know what it is, they want me to go earn an income. I would if I knew how folks, but I don’t, and am very frustrated at the disproportionate punishment such ignorance brings. I studied for six years, did quite a few things I wasn’t proud of, and for what? Nothing, failure after failure, and me losing faith and enthusiasm.
I feel like a zombie some days. I retreat into a corner of my mind that feels nothing, wants nothing, aspires to nothing. There I sit, and there I stay, because I offered all I had, back when I had more to offer.
My anthem has been this song;
If you want it, here it is, come and get it
but you better hurry cause it’s going fast
If you want it, anytime, I can give it,
but you better hurry cause it may not last
It didn’t last, and I didn’t get a good enough price for it when I had it.
1 comment
I know what you mean. It’s like not only not having an answer, but not even knowing what questions to ask. You seem very intelligent and capable, but lack opportunities.
All I can tell you is to update your resume/CV and flood the market daily with on multiple job portals for positions that interest you.
I joined the Navy right after high school and they paid for my bachelor’s and master’s degrees. After I retired after 20 years, I was able to take the risk of starting two small businesses, and now I work from home and have three sources of income, but it took a long sacrifice in the Navy first. I hope you can find a way to acquire the money you need to escape the control of others.
But even then, we’re all still tax slaves, and forced to pay money to people with guns who will arrest and imprison us and confiscate everything we own if we dont pay the man his tax demands. I truly hate the way this world works. Taxes are slavery, pure and simple.