I worry about participating on sites like these, talking to suicidal people. Especially those who are younger and more impulsive than me. I worry that I might say something that triggers something for them, which then pushes them over the edge. Not intentionally or from being insulting (I think I’m rarely mean), but just carelessly through discussion. And it’s not that it would exactly be my ‘fault’ if that did happen. I don’t think I have the power to make anyone kill themselves who isn’t already 99% of the way there. But it still concerns me.
I wouldn’t go so far as to say that no young person should ever commit suicide. But a part of me does want to say that if you’re dealing with issues of family, or school, or similar stuff, that can all change completely over a few years. It’s not that “It gets better”, but it might, and you can’t really know how much things will change until later on. Things could also get much worse. But a change of circumstance or some distance might make all the difference.
And I don’t want to have to post that disclaimer after everything I say. I’m primarily here to process my own shit, not to help other people with theirs’. I generally know I can’t fix people, although I sometimes forget. But where I see others who don’t seem completely fucked, I do feel some kind of responsibility to say ‘please think again’. Because there might still be the potential for a worthwhile life there.
And I’m not good at interacting with people; that’s one of my many issues. I’d be the last person you’d want talking someone down off the edge of a building. But I just wish people wouldn’t decide this shit on impulse. Sure, you’re having a traumatic episode and it feels unbearable right now and you just want it to stop. But unless that feeling lasts for months at a time, then maybe wait a bit to make your decision. So you can weigh the bad against the good.
I don’t know, I suppose that’s just guilt speaking. I can be crass and tactless when I talk to others, and I worry. Maybe I just need to be more careful about sticking to my own shit and keeping my nose out of others business in future.
8 comments
I think you’ve got your finger on one of the most interesting parts of this site; seeing what suicidality looks like from the outside. Everything you say concerning influencing others towards suicidality is also a worry I have regarding myself. I’ve had to cut out social media because I can’t process the raw negativity. Somehow this site doesn’t activate that part of my brain.
We as a cohort are extraordinarily good at one thing; procrastinating. So that is my advice for anyone thinking about dying; why not later on? Death comes for us all _eventually_, so what’s the rush? I suppose to escape pain, but given the general uncertainty of what happens after we die, I don’t think death is a very probable path away from pain.
“What’s the rush” is a good way to put it. Not that there aren’t some potentially pressing circumstances that might make me want to end it. But I would want that to be a calm decision reflecting my settled will, rather than some panicky impulse. There needs to be some strong reason for me to take that leap into the dark, before I’m inevitably pushed.
Exactly to this post. i recommend everyone should do like I (try to) do. and that is to delete my old posts after ive felt the ‘satisfaction’ of expressing myself. our words are like time bombs or landmines sitting there ready to trigger someone. younger or older doesnt matter but usually younger people are prone. anyway yeah. think about deleting your old threads that dont serve you and purpose. less suicidal chatter in the world influencing people.
i think this was more my fault than yours. i had all the pieces of the puzzle and i was too tired and indifferent to put them together. if we posted these things mid week, rather than on sunday, this likely wouldn’t happen because alcohol wouldn’t be involved.
…friday. i think that’s worse. either way, the pattern was easy to spot.
Heartfelt and true. I can relate when it comes to talking someone down from a ledge… Nothing I say ever comes out right.
Maybe you’re full of anxiety. For the most part, I believe people can see a clear difference between someone being cruel and someone that meant well but said something the wrong way
Very well put, and thank you. Personally when and if I am the ‘decider’ in whether this body continues, I want to process all the shitty feelings and emotions well ahead of time so that I can hopefully make space for peace and a calm mind.