At least you recognize your behavior is ‘hurtful to others.’ I have a relative who used to be my best friend…but recently she kept making the exact wrong decision out of many other options that were available to her.
I told her repeatedly if you continue you will end our relationship since that one decision (the last straw of other bad decisions she made) was harmful to me or caused unnecessary disruption to my life.
She didn’t care so now we’re no longer friends. I still care for her and I think she’s somewhat mentally screwed up, but what I can do if the person wants to be a prick and I’ve told them what would happen and they still do it anyways.
In your case because you are conscious of it, you always have the chance to go back and apologize. I’m personally very forgiving of people if they wronged me but are genuinely sorry about it.
Also perhaps you should talk to the other person, ‘hurtful’ is subjective, maybe they didn’t take it as bad as you think but it depends on what happened.
I recall I was in a terrible state when I was younger and I pinned all my anger of my life on my mother, I said some really mean things to her I wish I never did. She actually forgot but I deeply regretted it and had tried to be a better son since then.
People are certainly a product of their environment. I am certainly a person that can be hurtful to those around me as well. I don’t like making excuses…..to me it’s not an excuse to realize and understand why this may be. You can often tell where or even what parts of cities people grew up in. Because people are a product of their environments. They pick up ideals and habits by adapting to or dealing with what’s around them…….or pick up ideals and habits by simply seeing and hearing what’s around them. Consciously and sub consciously this is done. It is good to be aware of the things we do. To know if it’s good or bad. It can be something still difficult to simply not do or change just because we are aware. It’s part of us whether we like it or not. It doesn’t mean we can’t do good things just because we have bad habits. It simply will not be easy to change. It will take time. It will be another journey we have to endure as we adapt and purposely and consciously change ourselves for what we see or believe will be better. We can still pick up other bad habits along the way. We are always changing and adapting to what’s around us. Just be aware as best you can and try your best to be and become the person you choose to be. Don’t let others choose who you are for you. Don’t let others tell you that you can’t be or achieve anything just because you’ve made a mistake and you know you have. I’m still a shitty person when it comes to relationships. Too cynical and too sarcastic. I don’t mean it to be hurtful but I know it is. I’m working on it still.
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We all hate ourselves what is strange is for different reasons. You are not that different than most.
i deserve to be hated….my actions hurt others but i just keep doing it
At least you recognize your behavior is ‘hurtful to others.’ I have a relative who used to be my best friend…but recently she kept making the exact wrong decision out of many other options that were available to her.
I told her repeatedly if you continue you will end our relationship since that one decision (the last straw of other bad decisions she made) was harmful to me or caused unnecessary disruption to my life.
She didn’t care so now we’re no longer friends. I still care for her and I think she’s somewhat mentally screwed up, but what I can do if the person wants to be a prick and I’ve told them what would happen and they still do it anyways.
In your case because you are conscious of it, you always have the chance to go back and apologize. I’m personally very forgiving of people if they wronged me but are genuinely sorry about it.
Also perhaps you should talk to the other person, ‘hurtful’ is subjective, maybe they didn’t take it as bad as you think but it depends on what happened.
I recall I was in a terrible state when I was younger and I pinned all my anger of my life on my mother, I said some really mean things to her I wish I never did. She actually forgot but I deeply regretted it and had tried to be a better son since then.
Perhaps this is true? Or maybe it’s not? Normally people give what they get and are a product of there environment.
People are certainly a product of their environment. I am certainly a person that can be hurtful to those around me as well. I don’t like making excuses…..to me it’s not an excuse to realize and understand why this may be. You can often tell where or even what parts of cities people grew up in. Because people are a product of their environments. They pick up ideals and habits by adapting to or dealing with what’s around them…….or pick up ideals and habits by simply seeing and hearing what’s around them. Consciously and sub consciously this is done. It is good to be aware of the things we do. To know if it’s good or bad. It can be something still difficult to simply not do or change just because we are aware. It’s part of us whether we like it or not. It doesn’t mean we can’t do good things just because we have bad habits. It simply will not be easy to change. It will take time. It will be another journey we have to endure as we adapt and purposely and consciously change ourselves for what we see or believe will be better. We can still pick up other bad habits along the way. We are always changing and adapting to what’s around us. Just be aware as best you can and try your best to be and become the person you choose to be. Don’t let others choose who you are for you. Don’t let others tell you that you can’t be or achieve anything just because you’ve made a mistake and you know you have. I’m still a shitty person when it comes to relationships. Too cynical and too sarcastic. I don’t mean it to be hurtful but I know it is. I’m working on it still.
You arenot alone! I hate myself and hate my life!!
We are all here for you. To listen to you. Help you. Help each other. This isn’t easy. At all.