I know i should be in the psych ward…
Psychotic episodes are going to kill me. Either directly because i keep hitting my head and now it just hurts off and on. dont touch my head, it will hurt. Or indirectly because i fucking hate it and its part of the driving force of my suicide.
I hit my head again yesterday morning. Thanksgiving day and i had a psychotic episode over something so stupid.
I finished the day off with a nice supper so thats a bonus i guess….
thinking about it i might not have a choice…
if im not going to commit suicide im thinking about trying EMDR however its entire thing is to basically trigger the shit out of you until it doesnt bother you (i completely reworded that btw. please look into an actual description of the therapy). if its going to trigger me, its most likely going to trigger psychotic episodes…… the only safe way i can think to do that, is inpatient……
aaaaaaand suicide starts looking like a better option again…..