I want to change but I need to self destruct…
I always knew I’d choose my downfall over you. I could try and change but nothing will. I’ll pick the blade/bottle/joint back up. I’m not even sure if I can change my eating. Any food is a bad reminder.
But the biggest one of all… It’s too late. I have so much self hate. I can’t help it.
Self hate has to be the worse. I hate myself for everything and that just pushes me to continue to do it. I don’t want to get up just to fall back down
I know….
4 comments
It’s never too late, and whoever you’re pining for isn’t worth it.
but he is….. ive been treated like shit and neglected by family, friends, bfs, teachers, cops…all the people that are suppose to care and help me, only helped me to the point im at now. hed treat me right and im standing between that.
in another post i said “I’ll always choose degrading, humiliation and abuse over what’s right”, it was in reference to him. hes whats right. through everything ive done and all the things ive done to him directly hes always loved me and cared about me. i know he’ll always be there for me and i know he’ll always pick me up when im down, and just hug me if i need to sit there for a bit. hes an amazing person and i couldnt ask for anyone better in my life.
hes more then worth it.
i want to give up. im not meant for family…. i should spend my life alone. i should just kms after xmas
That´s not the right way to dodge trouble.