I hate my life. I’m tired of trying. I’m tired of never being satisfied. I am surrounded by good things that are to me tainted by the fact that they are not better, and that I am incapable of making them better. I have tried to settle, to be complacent, but it never works, it never helps.

I can’t hold a decent job. I quit college because it got too har, even though I had a free ride. I lost custody and visitation of one of my kids. I’ve abused my current spouse many times and even enjoyed it. I hate both of my children. I hate that I have to work, constantly, to get crumbs. I hate that I am how I am.

If I cannot have everything, I want to be nothing. I want to die. But I’m too much of a coward.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. That temporary problem is life.