Just 2 more months and I’m done. Just 2 more. Need to get there. Of course it’s not just 2 more months. Then comes the next thing. Graduate school. I got rejected from OSU. In terms of my preference, it was #2 on my list. Really liked the programs and labs offered. Got accepted for RIT and University of Washington, my #3 and #4. Haven’t heard from my #1 yet, but if I couldn’t get into OSU, got no hope of getting into WPI. So it’s between RIT and University of Washington. Besides the program, OSU was what I really had my heart set on. It’s because I’d be closer to her. Only an hour away. That makes me sound like a psycho stalker. Traveling half way across the country to be near a girl who has told me repeatedly that she doesn’t feel the same way. Honestly this was probably the universe saving me from making a mistake. I mean say I did get into OSU. Then what? I’m close to a person who only sees me as a friend and nothing more. But even then a part of my mind is still saying, at least you would be able to see her. Even just as friends, to be able to see her would mean a lot. Or maybe that part of my brain is just trying to rationalize things so I don’t feel like an absolute creepy psycho. Either way it doesn’t matter. I didn’t get in so that’s that. I had a phone call with her yesterday. It was nice just to talk about whatever. How school is going and games we are looking forward to. I asked her to take my tarot reading over the phone. She knows about it to some degree. I just wanted to hear her talk about it. I didn’t really expect anything. One thing that did stick out to me is I got the future of reverse tower. It apparently means that I’m trying to resist some change that is inevitable. Off the top of my head I can think of graduating and becoming an adult. I’m terrified of growing up and falling into a career I don’t give a fuck about. But another part of my mind thinks it’s about letting her go. I’m trying so hard not to get over her, but I know that I just have to move on. I know it is inevitable. I have to let that part of me that thinks of her that way go. I can’t resist it anymore. Another billboard sized sign the universe is giving me I guess. Or maybe I’m thinking too deep about this. Maybe it’s just complete bullshit and it means nothing. Who knows?
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OSU – Oklahoma State University
or
OSU – Ohio State University
or is there one for Oregon? not sure on that score. I know a thing or two about Oklahoma State, it’s a good school, though Stillwater is not a college town that I enjoy.
You got into something though, that’s great. I didn’t get into any of the programs I shot for my first try, and I still haven’t developed the toughness to handle another round of applications.
If you’ll pardon my academic nerdery; what kind of program were you applying to? What entrance exams were required?
Anyway, grad applications are designed to make applicants feel small and unimportant, and from experience they do an excellent job of it. It astounds me that most of the time two to five years of low pay has such a high entry bar. Meanwhile, actually being an academic is a passion project, never looks like it pays off financially [excepting maths and computer science]
Ohio State. I applied for the mechanical engineering program with a focus on robotics. Funnily enough I got a reply litterarly hours after posting from my first choice, WPI, and I got accepted. However now I don’t know if I’m even good enough and if this is just going to be a waste of money. My mind doesn’t want me to win.